Innate Wisdom Podcast

What It's About:

Join Loren Sofia, Functional Fertility Coach and owner of Innate Fertility, and Andrea Olsen, mother and owner of Go Diaper Free and Tiny Undies, as they talk all about potty training your baby.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

-When can you really start potty training?
-What is elimination communication (EC)
-Signs your baby gives you that they need to go potty
-EC for boys versus girls
-What you need to get started
-How you can realistically incorporate elimination communication into your daily routine as parents with different schedules
-Why your baby doesn’t like wearing diapers
-Where to start if you’re unsure about beginning EC

Transcript:

[00:00:00] Loren: Welcome to the Innate Wisdom Podcast. I'm your host, Loren Sofia, healer of my own fertility and health struggles, mother, functional fertility coach to thousands of women, and owner of Innate Fertility. I believe your body is innately wise, and so is your fertility. Sometimes we just need the tools to unlock it in abundance.

I'm honored to guide you through each episode where we'll cover not just fertility, but how to rediscover the innate wisdom of your body. Restore your connection with your physiology, bioenergetics, and metabolism, and get back in touch with Mother Nature and ancestral traditions.

If you're on your journey to parenthood, or are already there, potty training is something that you will definitely come across. And it can be both an exciting, but really sad It's a scary time for parents because potty training can be seriously grueling for some and [00:01:00] really, really messy. And that's why I'm so excited for today's episode.

And in it, I'm chatting with Andrea Olsen, the queen of going diaper free. We're talking about elimination communication. A K A E C. Now, this isn't necessarily potty training, but you can use Elimination Communication to help you through the potty training process, and you might be surprised at when you can actually start Elimination Communication.

I have many friends, students, and clients that are using this very successfully with their babies, with their toddlers, with their newborns, I should also include. Some have potty trained their babies before they even turned one year old. Yes, that is a fact. I'm telling you, it can really happen. You might be thinking, what?

With a, with 5 million exclamation points. That's literally insane. That's impossible. And I [00:02:00] thought that too when I first heard about it. But honestly, I'm so sorry. So stoked about implementing this with baby E. And if you want to hear the ancestral perspective on this, because there is one too, you will get that in this episode because I think it's important to know how things have been done in the past and also passed down throughout our time here on this earth.

And elimination communication is quite old in that regard, which makes you think, when and why did we stop doing it in the first place? That's a big question I have. So I hope you're excited to dive into our conversation. Here we go. All right, everyone. I'm super excited to be back with you and welcome you back to the innate wisdom podcast today.

I have a super exciting guest. Her name is Andrea Olson. You might know her from go diaper free and tiny undies. And if you don't, we're definitely going to explain what those are because it's a really, really [00:03:00] interesting and exciting topic, especially if you have a newborn or an infant or child. We're going to be talking all about potty training.

Welcome, Andrea. 

[00:03:10] Andrea: Thank you so much for having me.

[00:03:11] Loren:. Yeah. Thanks so much for being here. I super appreciate your time. I know how busy you are. And, uh, the information you provide parents is so invaluable and it extends so much further than that. But, uh, today we're going to be really talking about potty training and as sexy or unsexy as that may sound, I personally am super excited because I'm currently expecting I'm eight and a half months pregnant.

And Your method is something I'm really considering using. And so fantastic. 

[00:03:40] Andrea: Congratulations, by the way. 

[00:03:43] Loren: Thanks so much. I'm super excited to share more about what you're all about with the audience. So just in case for those that aren't familiar with you and your story, can you share more about your background and how you got into what you're doing today?

[00:04:00] Andrea: Yeah,for sure. So I teach something called elimination communication. We call it EC for short, and it's called by other names like natural infant hygiene, diaper free baby and infant potty training. So a lot of people think that it's a potty training method when actually that's just how we identify it, you know, from mom to mom, like, Oh yeah, it's potty training.

And then when you get really into what it is, it's actually. Quite the opposite. I, which is what I love because I feel like this fits into, um, what you're all about at your podcast. innate wisdom is basically a summation of what this practice is that we've lost touch with over the centuries, but especially over the last 60, 80 years.

[00:04:46] Loren: Yeah, we've lost touch with a lot of things, especially in that time frame, which is just kind of really interesting. But, um, I, I appreciate it. I [00:05:00] appreciate the way you described that too, because you know, When I think of elimination communication, the best way I can describe it to somebody else who has no idea is potty training, but I agree.

It's it's so much more than that. And I'm excited to share and break that down for everyone. 

[00:05:15] Andrea: Absolutely. Yeah. So I, I can, I can talk about a thousand different things. And, um, my biggest goal is just to make it simple for parents, just like, Here's what it is. Here's how we do it. Um, it's actually quite simple.

If you just give it a try, it's really a lot easier than changing blowout diapers, which is not natural. And, and our babies are just wired for this. And then after, you know, after they hear what I have to say, it's like, you can do as little or as much as you want. Just kind of want to preface the entire conversation with that, including for you.

Like you can do just once a day, try it out. Either way it counts and it is such a flexible practice that I, I just hope more and more people, once they know it exists, Can try it out because nine out of ten people are just like yeah, if I would have known this I would have done it and Unfortunately, the diaper companies etc I don't really want us to know about this the formula companies don't want us to know too much about how to breastfeed The hospitals don't really want us to know much about how to birth naturally.

So yeah, it's all in alignment with that 

[00:06:18] Loren: Oh, yeah, for sure. We can have a whole conversation about that too. Well, you know, you mentioned, I think that's really important to, you know, parents looking at it retrospectively, kind of like, I would have done this if I would have known about it. So can you explain what exactly elimination communication is?

[00:06:40] Andrea: Basically, our babies are born signaling to us that they would like to go to the bathroom hygienically. Now, just zoom out for a second, we are mammals. And as fancy as we want to make ourselves, we are mammals, we are animals. And think about it, nobody else uses diapers with their infants. 

 

[00:07:00] We do, and it's a relatively new thing.

So commercial cloth diapers about 200 years ago, and then disposable cloth or disposable diapers, plastic diapers, about 60 to 80 years ago. And that's where you get into this. How did our whole culture shift? So what EC basically is, what is what humans have done with their infants for all of human history because of the way we are, we've been created.

So, If you look at just the very, very natural human being without any kind of outer influence, we are born with this, we're born with this communication ability with our caregivers. Wolf puppies, same thing. So they'll whine and whimper and everything. And the mom, you know, they pee in the den one time and the mom will nip them on the neck.

No, we don't do that. And push them outside. Um, but they will whimper and let them know. Um, if you've ever crate trained a puppy, they won't go in the crate because it's their sleeping space. So that's just an example of those instincts. Well, our babies will often cry and cry and cry. 

[00:08:00] Actually, all of them cry and cry and cry.

And you're a new mom and you're trying to figure out what's wrong. You put them on the breast and they pop right off. You, you try to console them. You do the five S's, Harvey Karp's stuff. And you'd like put the swaddle and the, and the pacifier and the shushing and all that stuff. And they finally eventually give in.

And what's happened, what happens next is you usually check their diaper and you're like, Oh, you were wet or you were soiled. So let me change you. That's why you were crying. But if you rewind a couple steps, they were actually crying for you to take the diaper off. And we know this is true because the people who practice EC, and even people who don't, your baby will fuss and you'll be like, Oh my gosh, I have to change your diaper.

You open it and it's dry and you're not practicing EC and you're like, what do I even do? Like you're dry. So just put it back on and then they go within five minutes and then you change their diaper. Well, that's really backwards based on how we're built. So that baby is crying and fussing and essentially signaling to us.

And just think about it like cavemen era, if we were just born incontinent, which is what they want us to believe. 

[00:09:00] We're just born in continent, we're peeing and pooping all over the cave and all this stuff, and we have no control, and there's no communication. We would never have made it this far as a human species, ever.

Or cavemen, even. We never would have evolved into, um, homo sapiens. Because we would have had so much disease and, and just chaos. That is not how it is, and if we could rewind, and I wish we had, like, video footage from back then, and there is footage from all over the world, currently where they don't use diapers, or there's a possibility of getting it, I've, I've seen a little bit of footage on it, but basically babies, and I've just done it with all six of my kids, they've all been out of diapers by one, by walking, none of them needed potty training and all of them pooped in the potty from birth.

It was so easy because I started that way, but I also was just like, it doesn't make sense for me to have you go in the diaper, wait for you to finish pooping, watch you do it and then clean it up afterwards. And instead, when I see you doing it, I say, wait. 

[00:10:00] And we work together and, you know, I open your diaper, hold you over something, make a grunting noise, and you go and you're so happy and smiling at me in the mirror or whatever.

Like, there is something that once you try it one time, you're just like, Whoa, okay, it made sense. And now it makes sense. Like, this just feels right. It's like when you've figured out how to successfully breastfeed, which I know not all of us are equipped to do, but if you have the right information and you try it and it works, it You feel that bonding and that connection and that confidence as a mom and then the same thing with pottying.

Like you just try it one time and you're just like, whoa, that worked and it felt more right than changing a diaper. And mind you, I use diapers, I use them as a backup. I don't use them as a toilet, I use them as a backup. So like I'm not expecting anyone to be perfect at it. I'm not perfect at it, but essentially, and I'll tell you like how to know when your baby needs to go and when the best time is to try for the first time.

But basically once you just learn a couple of things.

[00:11:00] It makes the relationship with the baby so much more smooth because now you got to handle on what's coming in and what's coming out. And so there are primal needs that they're just like, Oh, I'm making all these noises and crying and just fussy and nobody wants your baby to cry.

Once you figure out what a little bit of those signals mean, you feel competence as a mom or dad. And you're just like, Oh, I can handle anything now. So I feel like it really grows us to be able to handle the challenges of. You know, my oldest is a teen and my littlest is a baby right now. It's a crazy spread of skills we need and I feel like it makes all of us more resilient and interdependent in a real healthy way.

[00:11:36] Loren: I think that's beautiful and I think you make so many great points. You know, it strengthens the bond between you and your child. You are meeting their fundamental needs, which, you know, as a first time mom or a new mom, you're struggling to. Kind of understand that and the baby can only communicate with you in this one way that it knows how when it's crying.

And so you're trying to interpret, you know, what exactly is this and you know. And so I think that that helps take the pressure off a lot of the time, I feel like, because you have this new tool that you can utilize to really address possibly exactly what your baby needs. And I also love what you said too, it doesn't have to be 100 percent of the time.

It can be, You know, you can, you can make it work for your lifestyle and you don't have to be, it's not something that you have to do to an extreme, you know, all in or nothing or, you know, all in or it won't work. I think that's really important too, because I feel like a lot of us are conditioned to kind of like, I don't know, go through life doing that in that way, doing things in that way.

Um, but there's flexibility, which is what you're saying. And that's really helpful to know that you really can't fail at this. 

[00:12:50] Andrea: Nope, it's just gonna, it's all learning and that's all baby raising is. You're just learning. And then once you figure it out, they change. So it's really about having, like you said, the tool set, like I need a tool in my tool belt for all the things.

You got a couple basics for babies. You've got sleep, you've got feeding, you've got potty or slash diapering, and you've got love and care like the, the warmth thing, you know, like the connection. I think there's, you know, there are many more parts to raising a baby, but you look at the basics, we're missing a huge part.

And it is literally all because they wanted to sell more products. And it's a shame, but, and, and, and definitely like, okay, modern life, I use a daycare half days. My eight month old is in a half day daycare. It's the earliest I've ever done it. And all of them have been in something by like one, but doing that, like I've had to let go of a lot of the, I want to do the potty thing all the time.

And she's going in a diaper much more than my other ones. But I'm okay with it because guess what we're together, we're doing EC and it's beautiful. And when she starts walking, we're going to roll with it. 

[00:14:00] And like, I even made an entire mini course on daycares because it was such a thing. Like, I don't want to start this practice if I'm not going to be able to do it fully perfectly.

I'm like, yeah, you're not gonna be able to do anything fully perfectly. You're a new mom period. It will never happen. I, and I, and I will commend you if you get anything perfectly because that's just not how we are. Um, you can't. And I think that we missed the point. There's so much learning in being imperfect.

There's so much learning in failing. And learning, you know, like, what is the most important thing? For me, I want to equip my kids. I want them to feel, I want them to feel shame. And I don't want them to feel socially inappropriate, you know? And I feel like having our kids in diapers at two and three years old, basically pooping in public is socially compromising for them.

And I don't think that they would choose it. Thanks. That's why they hide behind the couch to go to the bathroom, because it's just not developmentally appropriate. But, campers did a study, we taught all of our pediatricians, you're going to harm your baby if you start early. Well then what about the rest of human history?

Did we damage every human being that has ever walked this planet? Because I will guarantee you, they did not use a wearable toilet with them. Just like, when you start to think about it, you're like, oh crap, yeah. And at the very least, at the end of this conversation, I encourage people to at least just potty train between 18 months and 20 months around in there.

Or where they start saying no all the time. That's also fine because that's going to be really hard and terrible for you. And like, there's no such thing as waiting for readiness. That is a diaper company tagline that they created. They created in a university. They rewrote our pediatricians textbooks.

I've seen them. There's lies in them about sphincter control. Babies are born with sphincter control. They don't develop it at 18 months. In fact, we teach them not to use their sphincters. I feel like there's so much stuff that's just backwards all because of this massive multibillion dollar industry.

[00:16:00] And I've met an executive from this industry. And he was like, he didn't even know that EC existed as an option. And he was really trying to please moms and. 35 years at Pampers, you know, and he was like, yeah, I think we've gone too far, but I'm invested. So like, I'm not going to change it. You know, it's a diapering culture and I just want to give everybody permission to just try it.

See if you like it, see if it's helpful. And at the very least, like just potty train as soon as possible before too, because it just gets harder the longer you wait. It's just, Like, I wouldn't want to teach my four year old anything right now that she would actually have to perform to my liking. So, she's just really, like, independent.

Yeah, um, I like to go on tangents on all the things because I feel like it's all connected. But basically, like, yeah, this is super low pressure and it is in alignment with baby's natural development, which is beautiful. 

[00:16:51] Loren: Yeah, thanks for all that. I think you made a bunch of really important points, and you're saying the things that most people, you know, wouldn't be able to connect the dots on or just are too scared to say, so I really appreciate that.

And it's true, you know, especially for a vulnerable first time mom or vulnerable first time parents, you know, you're kind of At the mercy of all this marketing, you're being bombarded and it can be overwhelming to kind of sift through the noise and make decisions that are really aligned because you're getting so much unsolicited advice too, even from the people closest to you.

[00:17:27] Andrea: I mean, my mom, my parents, they were like, what are you doing with your babies? And then I showed them and they were like, Oh yeah, that's what grandma must have done. Like then you start thinking, I just, I just feel like the EC takes something off your plate. Like you don't have to clean up. Disgusting blowout diapers.

I can count on two hands how many I've ever had to over six babies clean up and that's a daily reality for most new parents for every new parent. It isn't too easy. Like it is literally overnight that you can hoop train. I put in quotes a baby because it's so instinctual like they don't want to do that on themselves.

You wouldn't want to put it on yourself. No mammal would. 

[00:18:08] Loren: No, it makes a lot, a lot of sense. So, what does EC really look like, you know, if you're trying to do it? You know, if you're not using diapers, basically. Like, what does that look like? Do you hold the baby over the toilet? Do you hold it over a special EC toilet?

[00:18:26] Andrea: You know, kind of thing we do. I mean, so you can use a mixing bowl. A lot of people at postpartum, you just, your body's all wonky. So a lot of people just use their sink because it's just usually breastfed babies. Like everything's benign when it comes out and pretty fluid. So some people choose to do that.

Some people, you can squat in front of a toilet and like, put a stool underneath your bottom is postpartum as a sensitive period. Um, there's ways there are ways to hold. So you basically hold them underneath their thighs or on the backs of their thighs. And you don't like. open or anything, just like comfortably hold them there.

If it's a boy, you kind of press your finger down on the penis so it doesn't spray all over the wall. 

[00:19:02] Loren: I was going to ask about that.  

[00:19:03] Andrea: Yeah, but girls also spray straight out some often. So it doesn't, you can like cup it with your hand. But my preferred tool is a top hat potty. The top hat potty is made for newborns.

You squeeze your legs, it's between your legs and you squeeze your legs together to hold it in place and then you hold the baby over it. eddies because they went off the market and I was like, Oh no, no, no, no. We can't have these gone. These are like, they've been used in third world countries for decades.

And anyway, it just makes it really comfortable and you can do it on the go wherever you are, throw it in your diaper bag. But how it looks is basically when, okay, if, if you wanted to try it for the first time and you have a newborn, say up to four months, when they wake up, just hold them over something and make the sound of running water, which would be, and because of our hormones and for you being pregnant, the antidiuretic hormone is a real thing.

It's. The primary reason you have to go to the bathroom all the time, it's not just the baby pushing down on your bladder, because it happened before the baby was big. It's this hormone. Um, this is a hormone that keeps us dry and from peeing and pooping ourselves when we're sleeping, all mammals. So when you wake up, that hormone wears off and your bladder fills.

So it's a great time to offer the potty and we call it a potty tunity. It's an opportunity to use a potty. So when your newborn wakes up next time, just fold them over something before you do anything and just like sleep. And see what happens. You'd be surprised. Most people get their first catch and it feels like this wonderful high.

You're just like, Oh, I've got to learn more. And the second way to imagine, like throughout your day, if you notice your baby grunting bearing down and you're able to get to them, you just say, wait, hold them over the potty and go to make the grunting noise. This is what they do in third world countries today.

And did before the diapers started taking over and you just, and we do use a diaper as a backup, like I mentioned. So I would say maybe 1 percent of ECRs don't use any diapers at all for the whole time. 

[00:21:00] But we live in a modern world, so you can use like cloth diaper or training pants or underwear or. a diaper diaper.

So you just take it off, hold them over it. Even if they've gone poop or pee a little bit, you just offer again when they're fussing and grunting and making pushing grunting things and they look like they're smiling, but they're actually grimacing. It's just a really good sign, right? And they look at you after you catch one, they'll look at you.

They'll start looking at you and their cry will change a little bit. And they're just like, it's like a communicator. They're like, Oh, you're listening. I'm going to get your attention again. I need your help now. So we'd catch the poops. We catch the wake up peas. Before we put them in the car seat, it's always a really nice idea to potty them before the baby carrier because you want them to be comfortable and not fuss.

I mean, who, who doesn't? When they get out of the car seat or the baby, if they, when you start baby wearing, they start to wriggle and they just seem like they're so uncomfortable and they hate it. It's actually probably that they need to go to the bathroom and they don't want to go on you. 

[00:22:00] So there are like major biological things happening in the first four months that you can take advantage of.

That's why I always tell everybody, start from the beginning because it's so much easier. They signal, it's just obvious. So when you start to decode them and figure them out and everything, then they start crawling and the wheels fall off the whole car and you're just like, I'm not catching anything about it.

They could like crawl out of the hut and into the common pottying area with an older kid at that point. They don't need you anymore. So from thousands, hundreds of thousands of years of wiring, we wouldn't need help. So with EC, like I teach people in my book and my courses, like what to do during those transitions.

And then really when they start walking, that's when our grandparents used to say, Oh, I'm done washing cloth diapers. I'm not doing it anymore. And they start putting them on the toilet. And you just really start to figure out their rhythm. So baby has their own natural timing. It could be like a lot, or it could be like a camel.

You just, your baby will be different. But I teach all this stuff. I kind of break it down visually because it's hard to imagine. 

[00:23:00] But essentially it's like, there's a rhythm, like baby wakes up, goes pee. nurses is awake for a little while. That first fuss after they feed is a signal to go to the bathroom.

And that's like probably the biggest tip I could give anybody on this whole show. It's like when they first fuss after they've breastfed or bottle fed, that is a sign. Offer the potty and see what happens. It's so amazing. Then they're awake for a little while. Then you potty them again. Then they go to sleep and then they wake up and they do it again.

Like babies are so cyclical. So we kind of like replace the diaper change with. Change the diaper and offer the potty kind of thing to our rhythm. And at night, we either do it or we don't. That's what's great about diapers. It's don't have to. We don't want to. So that's like kind of a day in the life and it depends on how old the baby is, but it's roughly like that.

[00:23:57] Loren: Hey everyone. It's Loren here. Just giving you a moment to take a quick break from this very stimulating conversation. I want to take this opportunity to remind you about all the resources you can take advantage of. including my free Get Pregnant Yesterday checklist, psycholiteracy guide, prenatal primer, and sperm booster manual.

I also have an amazing educational recipe guide called Innate Nourishment, created to help support your fertility from trying to conceive through postpartum, and my signature pregnancy prep e course, Conscious Inception, that takes you from maiden to mother and has helped hundreds of women grow their families.

I'll put links for all of these incredibly rich resources in the show notes, and if you're loving the show, don't forget to leave a review. Now, back to the episode. Yeah, and It sounds like you just learn how to anticipate, and there's so many specific points that are reminders anyway. It's not like, you know, sure, the baby's reminding you, but there's also, what you're saying is like, you can group this into Like your routine in the morning, and that's super, I feel like, accessible, you know.

[00:25:04] Andrea: Yeah, like, do you go to the bathroom when you wake up? Yes. And then do you get something to eat? Sure. And then do you usually have to go to the bathroom after your coffee, maybe? Yeah. You know, like, we're just humans. That's all. 

[00:25:18] Loren: Yes. And I, I have to say to you, one of my students, my course students, she has implemented elimination communication from the very beginning with her daughter and it she's six months now and it's beautiful.

It's like she's having amazing success with it. So much so that like she'll just roll over her, her daughter will just put her hand on her face at night. And be like, I need, you know, and she's not even speaking. She just, she has a way of letting her mom know at six months that she has to go to the bathroom and it's amazing.

[00:25:55] Andrea: It's so cool. Well, my baby on a hike the other day at seven months old looks up at me and that I'm wearing her in the baby carrier and she does the tea shaking, which is the sign for potty that I used from the beginning. And I said, Oh, okay. So we stopped. My partner gave me the top hat potty out of our hiking backpack.

I squatted, stuck it between my legs, took her diaper off. It was wet. She had a giant pee in the potty, put her diaper back on, put her back in the carrier. She instantly fell asleep. I had the most amazing hike with a sleeping baby. The other day in the car, she signaled at me too. She just looked at me and just started signing.

And I was like, this is amazing. It's happening. It's really happening. Of course, it's happening at eight months. This is when they start to sign, but how it all fits together with like everything. It's like the missing piece. It's so nice to have all the pieces, you know? 

[00:26:48] Loren: Yeah, when it's really working and you're, you're in a groove with your child, I think that's, you know, that's the ultimate connection there.

You're understanding your child and their needs and you're able to meet them. 

[00:27:00] And I think that's where this. It's so much more than just potty training. It's like, you can apply this connection into so many other facets of your parenting journey. 

[00:27:10] Andrea: Yeah. And I think it's, it's an investment too, and it pays off because then your connection doesn't go away.

It just evolves from there. And the thing is like, EC is not easy for everybody. So like we have groups, I train coaches, they all help all of our people who have our books, you know, because it's so pulled out of our culture and forgotten. So we literally have to learn it. Whereas before we wouldn't have had to learn anything, we would just do what everybody does.

But the cool thing is it is teachable, it is learnable and your baby is like the co teacher. Like I'm the co teacher and your baby's the co teacher and we're like both showing you how to do this. Through this responsive technique and um, for me, like I can't imagine raising a baby any other way and it's, it is like a hybrid.

[00:28:00] I do use the diapers as a tool, but I'm not brainwashed into like, I only can use a diaper and only until two or three and then I'm going to have to do this traumatic potty training experience and then it's going to backfire. So then I'll just put them back in diapers and then we'll use pull ups for five years because I just don't know what to do.

That's the default, and that's unfair to us parents. It's not fair because it's not the right information. We don't get the full menu to choose from, and we should be able to choose. I want to diaper my child for three years. I don't want to deal with this. Sounds like too much work. For me, I go into a bathroom, and I see somebody changing a blowout.

Potty my six month old over into the toilet. Full poop. Put the same diaper back on him, leave. Woman still changing the blowout. And I'm feeling terrible for them because they're both like crying and freaking out and it's just this wrestle match, you know? That woman didn't get the benefit of knowing that there was an option and neither did her baby.

That's my mission. Just make sure people know. And it, like your client, it's so beautiful when you see it like harmonizing. It's just like, oh, okay, this makes sense. 

[00:29:09] Loren: Mm hmm. Yeah, I appreciate the passion behind the mission too. It's, you know, it's not about controlling either. Like, you know, you mentioned, it's not going to work for everyone, but.

The fact that you're bringing attention to this thing that has existed for so long and we've just, we have amnesia kind of like we have amnesia about a lot of things, but it's, it's part of this relearning and getting back in touch with, you know, traditional things that are traditional practices and things that really are much more aligned with, you know, Our physiology almost, you know, and the way we're meant to live.

And so I really appreciate that. And I think it's beautiful. 

[00:29:52] Andrea: Yeah, absolutely. And I, I want co sleeping, all the things, breastfeeding. I've given birth unassisted three times out of six. 

[00:30:00] Like I, I am in it for the experience of like, what is it supposed to be like this, this life with our kids and birthing and raising and all of that.

And like, what can we try and what feels good and what feels right. And what is just like, that's not mine, you know, you get to like prune all the things that overload and just kind of find yourself like I couldn't even cook 13 years ago. And now I've figured that out, like there's so many things that we get the opportunity to re, re explore and learn that really is inside but also some of it we just have to learn.

It's good that we have so much connection so we can learn from each other, you know? 

[00:30:40] Loren: I love that. I love that so much. And you're part of creating that connection too, which is great. 

[00:30:46] Andrea: Yeah. It gives me purpose. It's fun. Yeah, 

[00:30:48] Loren: absolutely. And that's important too, to have fun while you're doing it. Oh, it's so much fun.

[00:30:54] Andrea: This whole thing is so much fun. Like I'd rather have fun than like try to stress about potty training. 

[00:31:00] Loren: I agree. I think fun. That's you know, I'm in the fertility world and I think there's so much stress that comes with trying to get pregnant and also being pregnant. And I think the most important thing is to make sure that you don't lose sight of what makes you happy and brings you joy and allows you to have fun because you need to nourish your soul too.

[00:31:25] Andrea: And then also like the creation of a baby should be fun. Like this stuff, it just gets lost. Like, no, it's actually quite wonderful. All of that, all of it can be. And, and yeah, I have six kids, so man, we have intensities. There's a lot of stuff. My belief is just setting good foundations from the beginning is really important.

And then I feel every day just a little bit of parental failure, like, Oh, I'm doing this wrong. I'm doing that wrong. I don't know what I'm doing, but it's because I'm doing it. Without a community like we all are and it's I'm glad for people like you, you know, we gather communities online because we don't have that in person and this is what we get.

And I think it's a blessing. It's great. Not ideal, but great. 

[00:32:11] Loren: It's better than nothing. 

[00:32:14] Andrea: Right? 

[00:32:15] Loren: Yeah. Well, I do have one more question, you know, for parents considering trying out elimination communication, this community support, because I feel like there probably could be a lot of judgment as far as, you know, trying something new, especially, you know, maybe navigating that in public as well.

Do you have any sort of like words of wisdom for, for those parents kind of straying from the mainstream path, which Mostly everyone listening here does that in some way, shape, or form, yeah, but um, you know, even in public, bringing that potty with them, maybe feeling a little shy about, not necessarily embarrassed, but just, you know, You know, I don't want to have to deal with all the looks.

[00:33:05] Andrea: Don't want to rock the boat. Get some love. Yeah. This is a pretty common topic in our communities. Um, a lot of us EC in the closet, so we don't tell anybody because it's not what it's about. Don't even post about it on Facebook. People say you're damaging your baby. I've heard some crazy stories. But when out in public, I'm just super discreet.

So like, The other day we were at church and I wanted to potty the baby before putting her in nursery and then when I picked her up from nursery, okay, so I went in the bathroom, there's a closed stall with a changing table, thank goodness. I put my top hat potty on top of it and I put my baby on top of the top hat potty, caught a pee, dumped it in the toilet, put her diaper back on, went to the classroom and nobody knew that I did that.

And then in the classroom I didn't say, Oh, you need to look out for a signal and you need to do what I do. I was like, I'm so grateful that you're watching my baby so I can go sing some songs and have some fun. 

[00:34:00] You know, this is fun for me. Um, so I don't say anything about what I do. There's like this kind of semi closet aspect about it.

But really, like, what would it be worth? Sometimes, like, I'll walk through a store and have a top hat potty in my hand. Nobody knows what it is. So nobody cares. People are literally more into their phone. They don't care what you're doing. I've done this on the airplane, multiple, multiple times with multiple babies.

And the most criticism I get is on Instagram. You should see one of my two viral reels on that. They're just like blowing up, like, how could you do that next to a passenger? And I'm like, how could you let your baby poop in a diaper next to a passenger and then never go clean it up? Because you're not allowed to change a diaper in an airplane.

Like what are we supposed to do? So yeah, I put her on the potty and then it was just pee. I put a wet wipe in there to soak it up and and it sat on the floor until we landed. Like nobody noticed. Nobody cared. And then yeah, I like to be controversial about it because that attracts attention to it and then the people who need to know and want to know are like, oh cool.

I'm totally gonna do that. But there are gonna be keyboard warriors everywhere. They're gonna be naysayers everywhere. In public, nobody cares, nobody notices, and like, hide behind a tree if you don't want them to see you. Um, it's, it's like, if you're purposely doing it in front of people, then you gotta question that.

Like, am I trying to get attention here? But really, when we're just trying to take care of the needs, like, I'll breastfeed in public. I used to, I just popped my boob out, didn't care. Then I was like, you know what, I really want guys looking at my chest. So I would take, I have two shirts on right now. I would just pull the one up, pull the tank top down, and then my baby gets this little opening to nurse on and I don't expose.

But you know, when I was younger, I didn't care. And I don't know what all that's about, but it's just. There's this sort of like discretion that I would tell anybody if you feel a little weird about it, just be discreet. If you pretend like you have a two or three year old and your baby needs to use the bathroom and you ask the store owner and they say, well, we don't have one and just say, well, she needs to go.

 [00:36:00] Usually they're impressed, not like, oh, how dare you? You know, um, flight attendants, first flight with a three month old. She was like, wow, good. That toddler over there went potty. Great. And I was like, no, this one did. I was like. That's amazing. So I wouldn't let that keep you from trying it and you don't have to do it on outings, but I will tell you every person who's tried it on an outing says it's easier than doing it at home.

Like I'm constantly pottying kids in my car and at tiny undies I have little potties for toddlers but also for babies and they're portable and we just take them everywhere just in case. So it's like, yeah, a little bit of upfront work, but honestly, I just, it's worth it. And then I just try not to attract attention.

Like I clean up as if I would clean up after a dog in case we're like on a hike and I potty them in the bushes. But yeah, it's fun. I mean, you get to figure it out. It's new terrain. Like with anything, like how do I breastfeed in public while you figure it out? What makes you feel the most comfortable?

Maybe you do it in your car. Or maybe you pump and you bring a bottle, you know, maybe use a diaper. It's all good. I never want a mom or dad to feel ashamed that they're not doing it right, or they're not good enough, or they just couldn't figure it out so they failed. I, I just feel like, Knowledge is power, and then what are you going to do with it?

[00:37:24] Loren: Mm hmm. Yeah, and I think that speaks so much. There are so many nuggets in there, but I think that also speaks to how this sort of method is so flexible and that you really don't have to do it 100 percent of the time, like, you know, in this one specific way. There's Workarounds. If you feel comfortable, great.

If you don't, that's also okay. And you know, it will still work and benefit you and have ripple effects.  

[00:37:54] Andrea: So because if you're potty training after doing no exposure to the potty at all, and all they're used to is their diaper, it is going to be hard. Does that make sense? Like, there's no question about it.

Two, three, their entire life has been one way. And then you just say, Oh no, we're going to do this now. That can be a little scary. So instead, like it's an exposure technique. We're exposing them to it now. If you are really like, Oh my gosh, how do I do this? I just want to do it. Like I will show you how to do it.

And it's pretty simple. Actually. There's a little learning curve, but your baby is a learning curve. So I'm sure like if you're a gung ho and you want to figure it out, just come see me and like, well, I'll show you exactly what to do. But I do feel like. Yeah, once, once you find your own personal groove with it, it just fits.

You find a way to fit it into your life and you have the right to do that. You don't have to fit your life into this. You fit this into your life and it's got a flow. 

[00:38:49] Loren: I think that's beautiful too. You know, not forcing something and feeling like you have to flip your entire life over to, to experience the benefits of this or anything really.

Otherwise it wouldn't be sustainable. 

[00:39:04] Andrea: No, you lose yourself and then you're depressed and you don't know why. And it's like, yeah, baby doesn't want that for you. They want to know what's it like to be a grownup. Show me, bring me along for the ride. You know? And this is it. Like Grownups use toilet. Let's do it together.

[00:39:18] Loren: I love it so much. Well, Andrea, it's been amazing chatting with you. And I do have one more question. And you know, the, the podcast is called the innate wisdom podcast. So I would love to ask you if you had one thing to share with the audience that they could start doing today to unlock. More of the innate wisdom of their body and you kind of you already gave a recommendation, but if you have another one or want to remind everyone what that was, feel free to share.

[00:39:47] Andrea: Yeah, to unlock your innate wisdom today with this particular method. Next time your baby wakes up any age, just hold them over the body and say psst. Or if they're like already walking, settle on the body and see what happens. 

[00:40:00] I mean, it's really amazing once you just stop and take the diaper off. And start, just try something new and just be aware of something in a new way.

I think that's going to unlock a lot if you just do the opposite of what you're used to doing and just listen and look and observe. It's great. Like you'll learn absolutely something will unlock there. And then I think just as a woman taking five minutes to yourself in a closet, staring at the wall, go to the bathroom by yourself, like whatever it is for like just five minutes a day for us women who are new moms.

That wisdom gets to come in and we get to hear it and that is valuable. So like if you're able to wake up a little early and have that time, it's something I wish somebody would have told me when I had my first baby. Just like, don't forget to take that time for yourself every day to just have some quiet.

And tune into your wisdom, because that is literally where all the answers are. We just need to stop and listen for a little bit. 

[00:40:57] Loren: And they're there. I think that's so well said. And it's a beautiful reminder. No matter, you know, even, even if you're not a mother yet, I think. Oh yeah. Just clearing, clearing out that space for yourself to just be and connect with yourself is so important.

[00:41:13] Andrea: Yeah, definitely. Pre mom, pre mom, I was like, I would go dancing and find that space. Like, whatever the space is for you, if you have kids and after that, just like keep that alive somehow in a small way because it does pass and then you get your time back, but it's very important. 

[00:41:29] Loren: Yeah, I love that. I hope that helps somebody listening.

Same. Awesome. And how can people find you? 

[00:41:38] Andrea: I'm at GoDiaperFree on Instagram and Facebook. You can find me on YouTube too, but mostly GoDiaperFree. com. And if you go to GoDiaperFree. com forward slash start, that's my free easy start guide. And it's a bait, basically just a one page. And it shows you just a little overview of all the things I kind of mentioned today.

It gives you a little chance to start and try it. And if you like it [00:42:00] from there, I literally have everything you'll need, uh, even little six month old underwear in case you need those because my baby didn't have those. Yeah. And you can find us also at tiny undies as well. 

[00:42:11] Loren: I love that. Yeah. Go check her out.

And I'll make sure to link to the, all that stuff in the show notes too. 

[00:42:16] Andrea: And we do have a podcast as well. The Go Diaper Free podcast that you can binge. We've got a couple hundred episodes of that. 

[00:42:21] Loren: Amazing. Well, Andrea, thank you so much for sharing your time and your wisdom. I can't wait to catch up with you once I start elimination communication with my little one.

[00:42:32] Andrea: I can't wait to hear all about it. 

[00:42:35] Loren: Take care. We'll talk soon.

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