Innate Wisdom Podcast
Season 3 | Episode 13
Baby E's Birth Story and My Early Postpartum Experience
Listen Here
What It's About:
Join Loren Sofia, Functional Fertility Coach and founder of Innate Fertility, and her husband, Alex, for the story of her baby’s birth and how her postpartum experience so far.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- An update on my pregnancy-related abdominal wall neuropathy (PRAWN)
- The last few weeks of pregnancy, my energy levels, how I was carrying, and more
- Surprising things I had to create boundaries for before delivery
- How I prepared for birth & possible pain
- My due date and whether I was early, late or on-time
- The events that led up to my labor starting
- At-home testing for amniotic fluid
- Who I wanted at my birth & why
- What my husband did to prepare & support me at my birth
- What I ate & drank during labor
- My plans A, B and C — and the important reasons I had 3!
- Why my birth was like a scene from a movie
- Whether I opted into any medication during my birth
- Techniques I used to cope with transition
- If I ever reached a point where I was freaking out or couldn’t do it
- Where I actually gave birth
- How long my labor really was
- If I knew I was having a boy or girl, and how I could tell which one I was having
- My laboring position and movement during birth
- Which newborn interventions (cord clamping, eye drops, Vitamin K, etc.) I opted into and out of
- Whether I had tearing, prolapse, diastasis recti
- What I decided to do with my placenta
- My decision on whether I would home birth again
- Things I did to support my body after birth, from nutrition to supplements
- Prepping for breastfeeding success
- The hardest thing for me postpartum
- Mental health considerations postpartum
- The truth about postpartum hair loss
- My postpartum must-haves
- And more!
Transcript:
00:00:00:22 - 00:00:29:13
Loren
Welcome to the Innate Wisdom Podcast. I'm your host, Loren Sofia, healer of my own fertility and health struggles. Mother. Functional fertility coach to thousands of women and owner of innate fertility. I believe your body is innately wise and so is your fertility. Sometimes we just need the tools to unlock it in abundance. I'm honored to guide you through each episode where we'll cover not just fertility, but how to rediscover the innate wisdom of your body.
00:00:29:19 - 00:00:43:12
Loren
Restore your connection with your physiology, bioenergetics and metabolism, and get back in touch with Mother Nature and ancestral traditions.
00:00:43:14 - 00:01:16:03
Loren
I can't believe it! I finally get to share my birth story. The story of the birth of baby. The light of my life with you, which you have been waiting so patiently for. I also cannot believe that this episode marks the end of yet another amazing season of the Innate Wisdom Podcast. And if you haven't caught up on all the episodes until this point, there are so many good ones and I encourage you to go back and listen.
00:01:16:05 - 00:01:44:02
Loren
In the last season, I shared what my fertility journey has been like, and I just want to remind you that I healed and so can you. Your body is resilient. It has the capacity to heal itself. You have the capacity to create life. You're not destined to have the complications that your mother or sister did. Sometimes you just need the right tools or direction.
00:01:44:04 - 00:02:15:19
Loren
I also shared my pregnancy journey up until the middle of the third trimester. I successfully avoided blood sugar issues and preeclampsia, all of which I was predisposed to and should have gotten. And this was done all through preparation. This episode continues where we left off and dives into my labor and delivery, which honestly, some parts are like a movie as well as my postpartum experience.
00:02:15:21 - 00:02:50:00
Loren
I also have a special guest joining me, my husband Alex, who is going to be providing his perspective in all of this. And at the end, I'll be answering even more of your questions in a Q&A. So get ready. This is one wild ride and I hope you enjoy. We're back and we're just diving straight into the continuation of basically the episode that I did on my pregnancy and fertility journey, and that's actually in last season's episode.
00:02:50:01 - 00:03:11:14
Loren
It's the last episode, and this is going to be the last episode of this season, season three. So this is my birth story, and I have the pleasure of having my husband, Alex. Hello. to help tell the story, he is Mr. and Nate Fertility as you refer to him. I did not call him.
00:03:11:16 - 00:03:14:13
Alex
Wildly adopted the name I am Mister and a.
00:03:14:14 - 00:03:17:14
Loren
Fertilized Mr. and a fertility.
00:03:17:16 - 00:03:18:18
Alex
I'll take it. I'll take.
00:03:18:20 - 00:03:42:09
Loren
Yeah. so, you know, in this episode, I'm going to be talking about my perspective. He's going to be talking about his perspective. We're going to be answering a lot of your questions and, yeah, just get ready for the ride because it is a fun one. So picking up where we left off last season, I was in my third trimester and basically I was feeling really good.
00:03:42:13 - 00:04:12:11
Loren
The only thing that I had really been dealing with was prone PR, A1, but all of a sudden around week 39, it just magically disappeared like poof. So I really, honestly believe that it had a lot to do with the horizontal expansion of my abdomen, because around 39 weeks you kind of stop growing. You're growing really rapidly in the third trimester, but you kind of stop growing as quickly.
00:04:12:13 - 00:04:34:19
Loren
And so I, because of the timing and because of the symptoms that I was experiencing. And again, listen to the episode where I talk about my pregnancy journey. And last season if you want to catch up. But it just disappeared. So I was just I mean, he was my personal misuse and physical therapist while it was happening. Yeah.
00:04:34:21 - 00:04:57:12
Alex
Thanks to the practitioners that we worked with that gave great exercises for me to help you with. Yes, I would like to think that a lot of that work helped with the quite a bit. But even so, you know, watching you and the baby grow pretty quickly, it was pretty understandable. Yeah, well, if you're experiencing pain. So I'm glad it stopped.
00:04:57:12 - 00:04:58:02
Alex
We'll just say that.
00:04:58:07 - 00:05:20:18
Loren
Yeah. It's essentially nerve pain in your abdomen. And my nerves were just being stretched out. Stretch stretch stretch. And it's it's so interesting because I really didn't show that much until like, not at all after I think like finally at six months, I was like, okay, I have a belly now. Yeah. But before then it was just like, oh, I look kind of.
00:05:20:21 - 00:05:25:02
Loren
I was looking at photos of myself this past weekend, actually, and I couldn't believe, like.
00:05:25:04 - 00:05:31:13
Alex
Do you look, like, really fit? How not for a long time. And then all of a sudden I was like, oh, she's pregnant.
00:05:31:15 - 00:05:54:02
Loren
Yeah. And then from there I just like, started growing, growing, growing. My belly just got bigger, baby. And I think also it's important to just like if you are self-conscious, like, I'm not saying that to you to make anyone feel bad about how they are carrying either, because you never know what anyone is going through. For example, like women that don't necessarily pop ever.
00:05:54:04 - 00:06:13:17
Loren
You know how they carry small. You're so tiny and like it's nine months and they barely look pregnant. They might have other issues going on that are not so fortunate, like a tilted uterus is going to pose pregnancy complications. So take that into your own perspective. Like don't judge how you're carrying and compare that to anyone else's.
00:06:13:19 - 00:06:14:17
Alex
Everyone's different.
00:06:14:19 - 00:06:28:21
Loren
Yeah everyone's different. And like as long as you're healthy and feeling good, that's all that matters. But I'm here to share my story. So I just wanted to share that. And my belly was big. Yes, it was.
00:06:28:23 - 00:06:37:02
Alex
22 because you're talking about the way people are carrying and everyone's like, oh, you're carrying high, you're carrying low. I think it's a boy or I think it's a girl, but you never really, truly know.
00:06:37:03 - 00:07:04:13
Loren
Yeah, right. So that's true. Although I will we will talk about predictions for the baby very soon. So my prognosis appeared and yeah, I think the most frustrating thing, honestly not frustrating. The thing that I experienced the most in the last weeks of pregnancy that like really got to me. It wasn't like I felt really good and I was like fully prepared to go over 40 weeks.
00:07:04:13 - 00:07:27:09
Loren
I was prepared to go 42 weeks mentally. And we'll talk about why that's important. But the things that I was dealing with the most in the last weeks of pregnancy were more so, like people's comments. And it's not even like people's like not anyone on social media. It's like family, friends and those are the ones that, like, were really unhelpful.
00:07:27:09 - 00:07:48:16
Loren
And I had to really create boundaries and like mental ways of coping with them because as much as I want to be a fortress, like they were really annoying and they were really starting to get to me and they were making me really angry. So I heard things like, are you ready for pain? Like, are you ready to push your watermelon out of your vagina?
00:07:48:18 - 00:08:16:02
Loren
Are you ready for it to be over? Because if you're not ready yet, you will be ready for it to be over. And I was just like, these things are so unhelpful. And you may hear them or you may have heard them, and I really had to block them out and protect my energy. And as much as like the person saying them thought they were funny, funny or like they were so unhelpful and I had to really vocalize my boundaries more than once.
00:08:16:02 - 00:08:38:07
Loren
So don't be afraid to do that, especially also in the beginning of your pregnancy too. Especially as people start to make comments that like how you're carrying or like if you're feeling sick or you know anything. Just like I think more than ever, it's really important to be your own advocate, not just like in a medical setting, but with the people around you.
00:08:38:07 - 00:09:01:24
Loren
So that's that's a really big learning for me because I'm a really big advocate for myself. usually, especially when it comes to like, my health. But I really found that I had to exercise that side of myself with the people around me, which was really surprising. so we won't name any names. Yeah. So I was, like, working out.
00:09:01:24 - 00:09:16:16
Loren
I had a lot of energy in the third trimester. I was the week that I went into labor, I had done like, oh, I'm pretty fun weight, strength training, workout. I think with you.
00:09:16:18 - 00:09:18:07
Alex
And we were working out together quite a bit.
00:09:18:12 - 00:09:19:08
Loren
Yeah. It was.
00:09:19:08 - 00:09:32:00
Alex
Was even doing pregnancy yoga, which, let me tell you, you work out muscles that I mean, I like to lift weights, but there's some muscles I was working that were very hard to work out.
00:09:32:04 - 00:09:32:12
Loren
Yeah.
00:09:32:16 - 00:09:36:04
Alex
Hip flexors and like, all sorts of crazy stuff.
00:09:36:06 - 00:09:56:16
Loren
Yeah. You'd be surprised. It's, you know, don't knock it until you try it. Yeah. Yeah. I had a lot of energy. You know, I think other things that I may have been dealing with were like a little more hunger in the middle of the night. Sometimes I would need to, like, wake up and eat something because I was just really hungry.
00:09:56:16 - 00:10:20:13
Loren
Like, my metabolism and the caloric needs were just so high. no matter how much I ate in the evening, I would just, like, need to eat a lot more often. So I had my kind of routine. It didn't happen every night. I would say it happened less often than not, but, you know, maybe two, sometimes three days a week, I would wake up and be like, I'm going to have a snack now.
00:10:20:19 - 00:10:34:05
Loren
And then I go back to that. So that's kind of what I was doing. But yeah, otherwise the pregnancy pillow that you got me was amazing. And, I slept like a baby. Yeah.
00:10:34:07 - 00:10:35:22
Alex
I don't remember the brand, but it was good.
00:10:36:03 - 00:10:37:08
Loren
Yeah. I.
00:10:37:08 - 00:10:38:08
Alex
Can look it up. I can find it.
00:10:38:08 - 00:11:06:04
Loren
Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about labor, like I mentioned. Oh, yeah. I was fully prepared to go over, like, 40 weeks. I was fully prepared to go into 42 weeks. Because your first pregnancy, you're typically going to go over an average of ten days past your due date, quote unquote. So labor actually started two days before my due date, and I was actually walking my dogs.
00:11:06:04 - 00:11:33:05
Loren
And then I played fetch with them. And then, I mean, well, I should backtrack. I had started to feel contractions that morning early, like very early, like 5 a.m., and I was like, okay, this is just like a little bit of cramping, feeling really mild, but I mean, it could mean the start of it, but it could be a couple days before labor actually begins and then,
00:11:33:07 - 00:11:34:09
Alex
To the midwife appointment.
00:11:34:13 - 00:11:45:14
Loren
Yeah, I had a bunch of appointments that day. I went to that. We went we saw our midwife. We just so happened to see our midwife. I saw my chiropractor and they're like, yeah, you know, just keep us posted.
00:11:45:15 - 00:12:01:06
Alex
Like, I think they were secretly, maybe not secretly, but I think they both kind of knew that labor my like that was the vibe I was getting that like labor might be starting, but they were like, yeah, you know it could just be some cramps. Just keep us posted.
00:12:01:08 - 00:12:19:06
Loren
Yeah. So they were really, really nonchalant about it. And I mean, I was like also so I was walking my dogs and then I played fetch with them. And then I was like, oh, this is like a little more uncomfortable. Let me just go inside and rest for a little bit. Also, we have to get ready for dinner like, let me just do that.
00:12:19:06 - 00:12:45:06
Loren
And as soon as I walked into the entrance of our house, my water broke and oh, I should mention to you like my water broke. But for at least two weeks I can't remember exactly how long I was weeping. So it's not amniotic fluid, but it's the fluid around the sac. It just kind of was just like coming out, coming out.
00:12:45:06 - 00:13:20:07
Loren
And it felt just like gut little gushes here and there. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced this, but it can happen. not every woman experiences it. So I was just like, kind of just releasing fluid for like two weeks. Not labor fluid, not amniotic fluid. And so one of the things that my midwife gave me were these pH strips, which actually I use in my practice when I had a brick and mortar practice, I would use them to kind of test oral microbiome status, but you can also use them to test for amniotic fluid.
00:13:20:13 - 00:13:44:19
Loren
And so she gave them to me to take home. And after that large gush, when I walked into the front door, I tested it and I was like, oh, yeah, this is, amniotic fluid. This is my water breaking. So basically, I transitioned very fast into active labor. We really didn't have, like the slow roll into the 511.
00:13:44:19 - 00:13:54:17
Loren
We went straight into A311. And, if you know what that means, basically it's one hour of contractions that are.
00:13:54:18 - 00:13:56:00
Alex
Three minutes, that lasts a minute.
00:13:56:00 - 00:14:19:12
Loren
And they last a minute long. That and they're five minutes apart. That's typically when they say you would go to the hospital okay. So one minute of contractions five minutes apart for one hour I was one minute of contractions, three minutes apart for one hour, like immediately. And so I was just like breathing through things. not too bad.
00:14:19:14 - 00:14:22:03
Loren
But this one was like.
00:14:22:05 - 00:14:25:00
Alex
I went into panic mode a little bit.
00:14:25:02 - 00:14:27:00
Loren
Because we were totally expecting, like.
00:14:27:02 - 00:14:29:01
Alex
I thought it would be like two weeks from.
00:14:29:01 - 00:14:32:17
Loren
Yeah, the date that we were actually starting things.
00:14:32:19 - 00:14:52:10
Alex
So I had these, like, grand plans to, I like to cook. I cook for us quite a bit, so I wanted to go food prep, make sure we had supplies all that sort of stuff, and I was not prepared. So as soon as that happened, I'm like, I got to go to the grocery store. I gotta start a pot of stew that I was going to make all this stuff that I wanted to.
00:14:52:12 - 00:15:02:02
Alex
Oh, so it's like running around like a madman. Also slightly panicking a little bit because my wife went into labor and this is our first child. So naturally.
00:15:02:04 - 00:15:21:15
Loren
Yeah. So that was fun. And yeah, basically went into active labor right away. And we I think we, we all, all of us like the midwife we did the midwife assistant, my doula, we thought that we were going to give birth that evening.
00:15:21:19 - 00:15:29:08
Alex
Yeah, it was pretty quick. You were dilating fast and contractions were coming pretty quickly and they were strong.
00:15:29:10 - 00:15:55:09
Loren
I also transitioned really fast. Like there's a point in labor when you transition and I got the like shakes. You know you basically your nervous system is like I got the shivers. My teeth were chattering and like they were like oh yeah this is happening. Oh yeah I mean I basically it was like on the toilet leaning over our bathroom sink.
00:15:55:11 - 00:16:01:11
Alex
Got this Swiss ball out. You were kind of leaning on the Swiss ball on your knees a couple times.
00:16:01:12 - 00:16:02:15
Loren
I was in the tub.
00:16:02:18 - 00:16:23:14
Alex
Went to the tub a few times. There was a point in the night where we were just in the bed together. You were kind of on your side. And I remember this pretty distinctly because I was getting pretty tired. Even though I wasn't doing any work, I was just there. I mean, I was working, I was helping, supporting, but there was a point where in between contractions, I was kind of like falling asleep.
00:16:23:16 - 00:16:38:21
Alex
But then the contraction would start and I would wake up and I had to start putting back support on your lower back, and then the contraction would end and I would start to nod off again when the contraction contraction would come. And I put my hands back on your back for support.
00:16:38:22 - 00:17:04:02
Loren
Yeah, yeah, it was a whole family affair. The dogs were in the bed, Alex was in the bed. The midwife was on the edge with me and her assistant. My. My doula, was also trading off as we got, like into the evening to just take breaks. I'm gonna pause here because we have an audience question about like, yeah, why did you decide to have the people that you did at your birth?
00:17:04:04 - 00:17:17:15
Loren
So I had my husband, Alex, I had my midwife, and I had my midwife assistant who is a doula, and that's it. I did this purposefully.
00:17:17:19 - 00:17:32:21
Alex
And what I was going to say, we got a request. Yeah, from a family member who wanted to be there. Yes. Most notably your mother. Not my mother, but yours wanted to participate, but gone. But we didn't have anyone else.
00:17:32:22 - 00:17:59:00
Loren
Yeah, she really wanted to be there. But I think what I'll say is, first of all, every person that you have at your birth may or may not add two hours to your birth length. And that's something that my midwife told me, but I wanted to have. I will people as possible because, instinctually I felt that it would aggravate my nervous system to have too many people at my birth.
00:17:59:00 - 00:18:21:19
Loren
I am an introvert. I concentrate best when there's actual like, you know, simple, quiet. I don't have to cater to anyone's nervous system and how they're reacting to me. And that is really why that two hour rule applies. So I wanted to have as quiet and peaceful of a labor, but also as quick of a labor as possible.
00:18:21:20 - 00:18:48:08
Loren
And that really worked, up until a certain point, which I will find out. But yeah. So, you know, just keep that in mind. I ended up really feeling like it was the right decision to not have my mom there. And I just want you to also keep that in mind if you feel like you have to please somebody because they really want to be at your birth, or they feel entitled to or deserve to be at your birth because they birth you or whatever.
00:18:48:10 - 00:19:13:23
Loren
That is not the case. You don't know anyone, anything. This is your birth. And like those concessions that you make may end up costing you in the long run. So be selfish and especially especially in this time. So don't be afraid to to do that. They have to understand. And if they don't, that's their problem, not yours. So like I mentioned, we transitioned very fast.
00:19:13:23 - 00:19:38:20
Loren
I dilated very fast. And then and by the way, I never looked at the clock ever. But it was all happening very fast. per my midwives feedback. Per your feedback, like, I thought I was going to be giving birth that evening. That said, we hit a wall and like that wall, just like was not moving. It was just stuck.
00:19:38:22 - 00:19:49:03
Loren
I couldn't push past it or push it down. And so this continued for hours. I don't know how long because again, I didn't look at the clock.
00:19:49:05 - 00:19:56:09
Alex
But I would say probably 5 to 6 hours maybe.
00:19:56:11 - 00:19:57:06
Loren
I think it was longer.
00:19:57:06 - 00:19:58:05
Alex
Than, maybe.
00:19:58:05 - 00:20:04:03
Loren
Given the time that we. Yeah, yeah. But, I would honestly say it was like ten hours.
00:20:04:09 - 00:20:06:00
Alex
And so you might be right. I'm not sure.
00:20:06:01 - 00:20:07:24
Loren
Yeah, I think so.
00:20:08:01 - 00:20:10:03
Alex
hard to remember all the small details of time.
00:20:10:05 - 00:20:41:00
Loren
Yes, but I think according to my biological clock in that regard, not the one that is, bestowed upon women. That's what I felt. And so I agreed to cervical check, and I actually started closing up. So my cervix was not only I don't know what the opposite of dilating is, but, it was starting to close up and there was a lot of swelling, so there was a lot of inflammation.
00:20:41:02 - 00:20:50:00
Loren
We tried arnica, arnica and oil internally. We tried resting, we tried different positions. And I.
00:20:50:01 - 00:20:54:03
Alex
Just want to say that the head, the baby's head was right against your cervix.
00:20:54:03 - 00:20:55:09
Loren
As well. Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:55:11 - 00:20:57:17
Alex
He was right there.
00:20:57:17 - 00:21:00:09
Loren
I could feel it dilating.
00:21:00:09 - 00:21:03:24
Alex
So he was down in your pelvis for a long time.
00:21:03:24 - 00:21:11:20
Loren
Yeah. And like if you were to touch my lower back, you could feel his head like he was there.
00:21:11:22 - 00:21:12:09
Alex
Right there.
00:21:12:13 - 00:21:15:04
Loren
He was ready. So.
00:21:15:06 - 00:21:43:23
Alex
But all that being said, that whole time that you were stuck at the wall, we were, you know, the baby's vitals were checked. Yeah. and his heart rate was fine. There was no signs of stress. So the midwife said, I, you know, we don't feel any need to call it an emergency yet. So it's kind of up to you to decide how long you can endure what you were enduring, which is pain.
00:21:44:00 - 00:22:10:24
Loren
Yes. That's it. It went from being very intense to at in the morning. I knew it was the morning because the light started to come through, to pain. And so we had a plan A and a plan B and a plan C actually. And I mean, I've, I've coached enough women for me personally only feel comfortable to have these plans.
00:22:11:01 - 00:22:31:17
Loren
And this is something that the midwife wanted, something that I wanted as well, because I have coached women whose first births, they come to me for their second pregnancies, but their first birth, they like, held on for 75 hours and then ended up having extreme trauma because they had high blood pressure and had to get an emergency C-section.
00:22:31:17 - 00:22:48:11
Loren
Like I am experienced enough, and I've seen enough to know that not having a plan B or C is a bad idea in my eyes. God bless those who are really committed and like I really feel I. I can't think of the right word.
00:22:48:13 - 00:22:50:17
Alex
But stalwart.
00:22:50:19 - 00:23:15:00
Loren
They just like this is how it's going to go. And this is my plan and this is the only thing that I am preparing for. But as a practitioner and having seen more than just that, I felt comfortable having plan A, plan B, plan C, and so when we decided to transfer, I was completely comfortable with that idea.
00:23:15:00 - 00:23:18:24
Loren
Of course, like I didn't really want to go. Yeah, but.
00:23:18:24 - 00:23:22:14
Alex
Naturally, I will say for plan B.
00:23:22:16 - 00:23:23:02
Loren
00:23:23:04 - 00:23:54:01
Alex
For anyone who is planning a home birth to actually be prepared for plan B, because we did have to do that. You had to do a little bit of running around to gather things because we didn't. It all happened so fast because we didn't think you were going to go into labor that quickly. And yeah, you know, actually start to go to active labor so quickly that we didn't have our hospital bag ready and we didn't have accommodations for the dogs.
00:23:54:01 - 00:24:10:16
Alex
And, you know, right. Fortunately, our next door neighbors, you know, they're amazing people. They took the dogs for us. But all those little things, if it happens so fast you don't necessarily think about it. So maybe consider packing your hospital bag and making some arrangements which you like, just in case.
00:24:10:18 - 00:24:21:06
Loren
Maybe at 38 weeks. Not like through next week. Yeah. Yeah. So that was I mean we were mentally prepared for a plan B, but we were not.
00:24:21:08 - 00:24:30:18
Alex
Physically fortunately it wasn't a ton of prep like we were prepared. So it didn't require a lot. And then, you know, once we're at the hospital, you could also make a trip back home or whatever you need to do.
00:24:30:18 - 00:24:56:01
Loren
But yeah, so I mean, I knew my limits and at that point I needed a reprieve because things went from being really intense to actually being really painful. And my cervix was just very swollen and inflamed. And so I needed a break, like, and the arnica wasn't working. And that's when, you know, like, that's why I'm a big fan of having functional, holistic approaches.
00:24:56:01 - 00:25:20:22
Loren
But also Western medicine is there for a reason and it comes into play when you need it. And so, I decided to exercise it, and my plan B was a hospital. And I won't say it out loud because I don't want to blow up my midwife's favorite spot for her back up. But if you are in Denver, just message me or email me and I will give you the name.
00:25:20:24 - 00:25:42:14
Loren
They are a hospital, but they have a home midwife unit and so they are very friendly to home birth transfers. Unlike a lot of hospitals, they won't judge you and they have midwives ready to go. You're not going to get an OB right away. Of course there's an overseeing will be. But the person you will be working with is a midwife and nurses.
00:25:42:16 - 00:26:03:12
Alex
They respect your wishes to, you know, when you go in and if you don't want something right, you can convey that to them and they might give you their rationale as to why you think you might. They might think you need it, but ultimately they didn't push it on to us or say no. Right? They respected, any requests and, and, you know, your wishes that you had going in.
00:26:03:14 - 00:26:06:11
Loren
Yeah. So I have zero disappointment about how.
00:26:06:11 - 00:26:09:07
Alex
They run out of time transfer experience.
00:26:09:09 - 00:26:35:02
Loren
But let's get there. Yeah. I have zero disappointment about having a transfer because I was mentally prepared. We had plan B ready to go. I think where a lot of people are experiencing trauma almost, it's because they don't have that plan B and like they're not mentally prepared and then they don't know what to expect. And they haven't vetted the hospitals around them well enough.
00:26:35:04 - 00:26:56:23
Loren
And so when they get there, they are treated like, oh, you're the home birth that, you know, went wrong. Oh, silly. You like, you know, because that's how most hospitals are. So like I would do your due diligence even if you are having a home birth, figure out what that plan B is for your non-emergency case. Because we transferred I chose to transfer.
00:26:57:00 - 00:27:19:08
Loren
But yeah, it was really not traumatizing to do that because we had been so comfortable with the next sort of phase in the process. So that said, at that point things were getting really painful, and that's when things turned into a movie, because actually.
00:27:19:10 - 00:27:20:03
Alex
Literally like.
00:27:20:07 - 00:27:22:15
Loren
You know, like, I'll let you tell this part, you know, you.
00:27:22:17 - 00:27:38:03
Alex
Think you watch a movie about, you know, like a, like a rom com or something, right? And they have to go to the hospital and the lady is like screaming in the car, and they got a rush and maybe they got pulled over or something like that, and they got to fly them. So we, you know, we pilot the car.
00:27:38:05 - 00:28:03:12
Alex
Loren's in a lot of pain, so she's screaming, essentially prefer the contractions, in the back seat. And I, you know, I, I start, I'm a little tired, but I'm okay. Start driving to Denver and if anyone knows the area, I-25 sucks. There's always traffic. And on this particular day when we were driving in, there happened to be a fresh accident, like, right as we got to I-25.
00:28:03:12 - 00:28:18:10
Alex
So we're talking like stopped traffic. We hear it, we're hearing sirens, emergency responders that are, like, making their way to the highway. So I'm like, what do I do? And she's still in the back screaming the whole time.
00:28:18:12 - 00:28:28:10
Loren
I have, like, amniotic fluid just gushing out of me in the backseat. I'm just like, gushing. Am I holding on? Breathing?
00:28:28:12 - 00:28:57:09
Alex
so, you know, I end up hopping on the shoulder and I am driving pretty fast between the center barrier of the highway and the cars that are in the left lane. And, you know, sometimes cars, I try to block you off, but like, fortunately, I was able to, like, sneak past everyone and just fly down the shoulder past this accident into a freshly opened highway and just drove, you know, 90mph straight as fast as I could to the hospital to make our way.
00:28:57:10 - 00:29:20:17
Alex
And then we get there and we pull up, still screaming. We get her into a wheelchair, we get in and we're trying to get her situated. And she's like, please hurry up to the staff. it was a whole experience. I literally was like a movie experience. But again, the hospital was great. And they, you know, they got us in pretty quickly.
00:29:20:19 - 00:29:27:15
Alex
Pretty quickly. Yeah, it was pretty quick. you know, we had to, you know, sign and get the insurance and sign forms and like, all that sort of stuff, which was the hold up.
00:29:27:15 - 00:30:00:23
Loren
But the pain was like really peaking. Like it was like the end of it. and, you know, I think there's a lot of this pain free birth stuff going on. And, I think it's really important to understand, like, birth is very intense and like it can be painful, though. And I think where that pain free birth stuff really comes into play is it gives you the knowledge of your body and it helps you understand what's happening and what to expect.
00:30:00:23 - 00:30:26:23
Loren
And that's where it can give you understanding in the pain. And it kind of makes that pain less. That's exactly how emotional freedom technique works too. But it's different to understand. Like your threshold. And I knew after however many hours of labor, I think it was like 28. And you know, when I went into labor and when we transferred, it was like 19 ish.
00:30:27:00 - 00:30:29:12
Alex
5 p.m. to 11 a.m..
00:30:29:14 - 00:30:36:10
Loren
Yeah. Well, 99. Yeah. Is that right? Math. Anyway,
00:30:36:12 - 00:30:39:07
Alex
We're not sleeping because we have a baby, so that's another story.
00:30:39:07 - 00:30:42:22
Loren
Yeah, again, I was in active labor the whole time.
00:30:42:24 - 00:30:57:19
Alex
Yeah. It's not just like, a lot of times women are like, kind of you start labor, but there's a long period of time before active labor, before things speed up. But yeah. So that was all you had. You were. Yeah. Because if it had proceeded as expected, you might have had the baby by midnight.
00:30:57:21 - 00:31:31:15
Loren
Yeah. That's when prediction wise and like we can talk about what we think the reason for that stall was. But at this point, like my cervix was so swollen, I needed rest and I needed to take a break and to get that inflammation down. So what we did was I did accept an epidural and that allowed me to like as soon as an epidural, had I immediately almost like was ready to take a nap, I was exhausted and that's what I requested.
00:31:31:19 - 00:31:59:04
Loren
I said to the staff. I was like, I don't really want to talk about anything else until I have taken a four hour nap. Come back in four hours. Thank you. Goodbye and. And they respected my wishes. Yeah. So that was lovely. I got to really rest and, recuperate and kind of reset, and that's exactly what I needed.
00:31:59:06 - 00:32:29:15
Loren
So I do want to mention, though, by the time I got to the hospital, I had dilated from nine centimeters, which at my house went down to like 8 or 7 and a half. And that's when we're like, okay, we're stalling, let's try some arnica. Things were still sold and that was like hours and hours ago. By the time we got to the hospital, I was five centimeters dilated and my contractions were super irregular.
00:32:29:21 - 00:33:01:02
Loren
I was having like one and then like five within the span of a minute and then like one and then like five. And so I really again, I needed that break and that reprieve. And so I think you need to understand kind of what your limits are and what I've been trying to say throughout all of this is like, don't try to white knuckle this idea of this thing that you had in your head of how things were going to go, because it can really end up working against you.
00:33:01:08 - 00:33:26:02
Loren
And like, if I hadn't decided to transfer when I did, I'm probably maybe the baby would have had started to have like, you know, distress. or maybe I would have started to develop, like, I don't know, a fever or an infection or something, because I was holding on to this idea and I was not willing to be flexible or adaptive to what my body was asking for.
00:33:26:04 - 00:33:56:21
Loren
So I was really trying to of course, I had this goal, but I also had this plan B, and again, I was very willing and ready, and I knew my limits and what that plan B was going to be. And being able to shift into that and accept that without being beating myself up or like getting really upset and allowing that fact that I'm super upset to work against what was happening in the present and what my body needed in the present moment.
00:33:57:02 - 00:34:13:05
Loren
So I think, again, this is another really important lesson here. But, I accepted the epidural. One thing that I was offered when I got there, though, was fentanyl is not just FYI, some epidurals have fentanyl in it already.
00:34:13:05 - 00:34:16:24
Alex
It's controlled like you're just getting fentanyl. But yes,
00:34:17:01 - 00:34:40:08
Loren
But this epidural did not. It was just morphine. But sometimes they will offer you fentanyl separately. I declined that. But, you know, just FYI, if you are trying to plan your plan B, ask that question so that you are prepared to figure out what you want to do before it happens. So, I accepted that and.
00:34:40:12 - 00:34:43:04
Alex
Kanab took a nice nap too.
00:34:43:06 - 00:34:56:23
Loren
Had a discussion with the midwife on call. If you get an epidural, you have to get a catheter. And I was trying to talk my way out of because that was just like, I do not want a catheter.
00:34:57:00 - 00:35:02:12
Alex
But meanwhile, I don't know if you remember this, but you, like, filled your pee bag.
00:35:02:12 - 00:35:03:03
Loren
Yeah, I did.
00:35:03:03 - 00:35:05:07
Alex
So it's a good thing they required a catheter.
00:35:05:07 - 00:35:28:00
Loren
Yeah, because when you get an epidural, you can't feel, Well, it depends what kind of epidural and how much you're in control of how much you're giving yourself after the first bolus. But yeah, I was filling it. And, you know, I did not press for additional doses or administer it onto myself. I think after that first dose.
00:35:28:02 - 00:35:29:01
Alex
just one I think, you know.
00:35:29:04 - 00:35:55:18
Loren
Yeah. So I wanted even though I transferred and needed that reprieve, I wanted to have, I wanted to still feel everything and still have the birth that I wanted to. I wanted to be able to move around. So after my nap, we had a good discussion with the midwife on call. She recommended pitocin and my contractions were still irregular, so I accepted it.
00:35:55:20 - 00:36:34:06
Loren
I accepted the lowest dose and they actually had to decrease the dose because my contractions was working too well. So they decrease it to 25% of the lowest dose. So I took 75% less than the lowest dose of the toxin. Kickstarted it. Yeah, it kickstarted things. It got things back on track. The swelling went down eventually and what we did was I really took the time to just rest until things started feeling intense again, like I was really back into labor.
00:36:34:08 - 00:36:45:12
Loren
But what we did was I did a bunch of different positions on the peanut ball and, as well as the, this inflatable pillow that you could just kind of be on your hands and knees.
00:36:45:13 - 00:36:46:11
Alex
It's like a wedge, almost.
00:36:46:11 - 00:37:15:24
Loren
Right? Yeah, a wedge. So I was going back and forth between the wedge, the peanut ball. I did like a Queens throne position because they could adjust the bed to be like, almost like a staircase. And after, you know, that things really started to get intense again. I threw up a bunch of times. I got a question, you know, like, oh, did you get heartburn during your pregnancy?
00:37:15:24 - 00:37:23:07
Loren
And no, I did not get heartburn until right before I threw up, which makes sense. And then things like really.
00:37:23:10 - 00:37:31:02
Alex
Move along pretty quickly. Once, they were like, okay, let's push. I think it was 45 minutes maybe have pushing something like that.
00:37:31:04 - 00:38:02:05
Loren
Yeah. And before that like point, I was laboring on my hands and knees, rocking back and forth. And honestly, the nurses and the midwife on call and my midwife actually turned into my doula and was there the whole time. So she was really helping me from like a doula perspective, dual standpoint, providing that sort of support. And then, they were actually like, I've never seen anyone who's gotten an epidural move that way.
00:38:02:07 - 00:38:20:13
Loren
and I think it's because I kept the dose so low, it was just enough to take the edge off of, like, all the inflammation that was in my cervix, and then just release that, and then between the positions, the rest that I got, it just happened. So yeah, we played tug of war during.
00:38:20:19 - 00:38:42:22
Alex
You know, was fun. I'm you know, I think if you like, some guys might be squeamish about these types of things. I'm not at all. So I watched the entire thing watch the baby's head crowning. but we did. We played tug of war. The one of the the nurses there, you know, suggested because I was doing various things along the way, like back support and holding your hand or whatever it might be.
00:38:42:22 - 00:38:52:12
Alex
But, you know, he had suggested tug of war because it adds counter pressure to her pushing. Right, so she can pull on, you know, like, I think they gave us a towel or a sheet or something.
00:38:52:12 - 00:38:53:10
Loren
Like a sheet so.
00:38:53:10 - 00:39:12:08
Alex
She could pull backwards while pushing. but I would be I was standing in front of her and I was the anchor for the tug of war. And I'm a big, strong guy, so she didn't really have any success moving me or anything like that. Yeah, I think it was. It was a nice way for me to feel, you know, actively a part of what you were trying to do.
00:39:12:12 - 00:39:19:19
Alex
So it was, you know, it was nice other than just kind of the standing by and offering, you know, verbal support or things like that.
00:39:19:21 - 00:39:34:00
Loren
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Were super helpful in that regard. And I felt like you were I was like really only looking at you and the mirror, somebody was holding a mirror that was helpful to the mirror was motivating for me because I could see like progress.
00:39:34:01 - 00:39:36:21
Alex
Yeah. I was literally watching the baby come out.
00:39:36:23 - 00:39:56:14
Loren
Personally, that's very motivating for me. And that's also why I didn't want to look at the clock at all, because if I knew what time it was, I would just be like, oh, it's that time. Oh my God, this time. At which time is past, like, we're still here. And so, I didn't look at the clock at all really, during labor, just kind of like knew what time it was based on the lighting.
00:39:56:16 - 00:40:05:01
Loren
But yeah, the act of pushing part was like maybe 45 minutes an hour. I think it was 45 minutes.
00:40:05:07 - 00:40:08:13
Alex
Yeah, it was pretty quick. Well, quick. Relatively.
00:40:08:16 - 00:40:25:14
Loren
Relatively speaking. Yeah. baby was born at 2:01 a.m. on Saturday, and I went into labor on Thursday. So that was like the day before Christmas Eve, 23rd of December, right on his due date. I guess he just really.
00:40:25:14 - 00:40:27:10
Alex
Uncommon, I guess. Yeah.
00:40:27:12 - 00:40:55:03
Loren
It's not common at all. Just FYI, I believe only about 10% of births are actually, their due date. I just yeah, I guess he really wanted to just come on his due date, so. Yeah, again, I was moving a lot. I was on my hands and knees and, like, I found that during the pushing, I was like, in this runner's position, holding up one of my knees really high while I was on my back.
00:40:55:05 - 00:41:19:01
Loren
And that was really comfortable for me. And I also pushed against somebody with, either their hand. I think it was actually I think it was Katy's hand midwife. Yeah, yeah, she was acting as counter pressure to you. well, I played tug of war and yeah, all our wishes were met. It was really a seamless transition from what I wanted at home to this, hospital.
00:41:19:03 - 00:41:53:13
Loren
And again, that's. I know that that's rare, but I think it's rare because I was prepared for plan B and had vetted the plan. And then, you know, nearby hospitals. So, yeah, all our wishes are met. We did delayed court clamping. We opted out of arrhythmias and, antibiotic ointment for the eyes. we opted out of vitamin K right away, and I had no tearing and I had no prolapse, so I think.
00:41:53:19 - 00:41:56:22
Alex
I went off pretty, pretty smooth once we got past the wall.
00:41:56:23 - 00:42:07:11
Loren
Yeah, yeah, I yeah I think it's in for me. And I can talk about why I think that happened. But yeah. And no tearing which was like you know but.
00:42:07:11 - 00:42:16:18
Alex
I think again if you, if you keep going back to talking about preparation, you did a lot of preparation prior to the birth. Right? So pelvic floor exercises.
00:42:16:20 - 00:42:17:13
Loren
Nutrition.
00:42:17:18 - 00:42:19:21
Alex
Well nutrition support.
00:42:19:23 - 00:42:22:06
Loren
we did also perineum Ernie.
00:42:22:09 - 00:42:31:21
Alex
stretching that I assisted with that. So there's a lot there's a lot of things that you can do to prepare for this. Just put your best foot forward to not run into these issues when you're actually giving birth.
00:42:32:01 - 00:42:47:24
Loren
Yeah. And so a lot of that I was doing like before I was even pregnant. And I think what I really added in was just that perineum stretching and which you helped me with, which was really great. It's a bonding experience for you and your partner.
00:42:48:01 - 00:43:07:13
Alex
for any, any, I don't know. Hey, guys listening or ladies, if you want to talk to your your, your husbands or your partners about it, but it's really not that challenging. It is a bonding experience, and it helps them feel like they're helping you actively prepare for your childbirth, which is important. So yeah.
00:43:07:15 - 00:43:24:23
Loren
Yeah. So all in all, very smooth. I had very little bleeding, very, very little bleeding. Once the placenta came out, it was very smooth. It was huge. It was very it was very, very, very deep, deep, deep red like.
00:43:25:00 - 00:43:28:01
Alex
healthy, percent super, super healthy.
00:43:28:03 - 00:43:48:22
Loren
I decided to encapsulate my placenta. if you do, you have to some hospitals have rules. So like, because I wanted to do that, I had to get the placenta out of the hospital within two hours of delivering. Otherwise they were going to take it and like, throw it out. So my, my wife was like, okay, I'm going to go do this.
00:43:48:22 - 00:43:55:20
Loren
I will come back. But yeah, I did that. And let's see, we got to rest.
00:43:55:22 - 00:43:59:04
Alex
I got to cut the cord. Yeah, that's cool.
00:43:59:06 - 00:44:05:05
Loren
That's cool. Me and yeah. Baby was born extremely healthy.
00:44:05:07 - 00:44:07:02
Alex
8 pounds, 6 pounds. Big healthy boy.
00:44:07:07 - 00:44:08:19
Loren
Yeah. Big healthy boy.
00:44:08:21 - 00:44:18:20
Alex
Because he was in Lauren's pelvis for so long. Which could. We'll times the conversation about why we might have stalled out, but his head was a little canonical. Yeah, but the right word.
00:44:18:21 - 00:44:20:10
Loren
Coach, I think so.
00:44:20:12 - 00:44:27:19
Alex
which apparently completely normal. Don't freak out if that happens to you. And you see it. It honestly went back to normal, like within a week.
00:44:27:21 - 00:44:31:15
Loren
- Within, like 48 hours. Oh, yeah.
00:44:31:15 - 00:44:41:01
Alex
Wow. Okay. Way faster. My memory is, you know, not as great, but, Yeah, I was very interested in seeing that. But, you know, he's completely healthy and fine and it's going back to normal.
00:44:41:01 - 00:44:48:12
Loren
Okay. Yeah, yeah. And so one of the questions that I got, from you guys is like, did you know that I was having a boy?
00:44:48:14 - 00:44:49:05
Alex
No.
00:44:49:07 - 00:44:49:16
Loren
No.
00:44:49:16 - 00:44:50:20
Alex
Surprise baby.
00:44:50:20 - 00:45:27:01
Loren
Okay, let me caveat that. So we decided to keep it a surprise. Throughout our whole pregnancy, however, I had a feeling it was a boy for a couple of different reasons. one is when we actually, conceived or timed intimacy. Just so happened to time intimacy during my cycle. If you are a conscious conception student, you will know what I'm referring to because I talk about how the timing can influence gender.
00:45:27:03 - 00:45:56:07
Loren
And so I thought it was a boy just solely based on that. I also thought it was a boy because I had two dreams that I was having a boy, and that we have a little boy. And I think one of the really interesting things people kept guessing and they a lot of people said that they thought it was a girl, but we went on a babymoon to Mexico and, there was an abuela in one of the stores that I stopped in, and she's like, you're having a boy.
00:45:56:09 - 00:46:10:16
Loren
I know you're having a boy. And like, oh, that's cool, because I just jump that. so when he was born, I was not really surprised. But, you know, I think you thought we were having a girl.
00:46:10:18 - 00:46:18:13
Alex
I, I don't know, I don't I couldn't tell you why, to be honest. But I just thought we were having a girl. It's a 5050 decision, so I just. You know, it's what I thought.
00:46:18:16 - 00:46:23:19
Loren
But actually, 70% of the time, the mom is right and guessing.
00:46:23:19 - 00:46:27:08
Alex
Yeah. Don't doubt her. She's right.
00:46:27:10 - 00:46:45:01
Loren
so if you have intuition, that just goes to show the power of intuition. But we were surprised, of course. And then. Yeah, I mean, let's see what other questions there is. Why did you wait to find out? we wanted to keep it a surprise.
00:46:45:03 - 00:46:47:22
Alex
Yeah. I mean, that's the way it used to be back in the day.
00:46:47:22 - 00:46:53:11
Loren
That's true. Yeah, yeah. We only have so many surprises in our life now.
00:46:53:13 - 00:47:08:10
Alex
It's a special feeling when. When it happens. Right? Otherwise you're like, I know I'm having a girl and whatever, right? But, you know, it was it was nice to just not know. And then when he came out, it was just the excitement is that much stronger I think.
00:47:08:16 - 00:47:17:22
Loren
Yeah. Yeah, I think I agree. I mean, we don't even have like the pleasure of getting lost going somewhere anymore because we have like.
00:47:18:00 - 00:47:18:15
Alex
Exactly.
00:47:18:16 - 00:47:46:24
Loren
Trubel maps that just tell you where to go, you know? So I mean, I think that we wanted to keep this a surprise, so. Yeah. And then, let's see, there was another question during birth, did you reach a point where you thought you couldn't take it anymore? So no, I would say like, no, in that, like I know my limits.
00:47:46:24 - 00:48:36:15
Loren
So I was not going to let myself get to that point. and I knew when I needed to change something and I communicated that. And so, you know, I was in labor for over 30 hours, and that was like active labor. It's pretty insane. And I think without preparation, physical preparation, like all the exercises that I did, all the workouts really helped me with the adapting to the physical demands of that, but also all the mental preparation that I did to help me adapt to the mental load that I was going to be carrying throughout this process, but also following your intuition and knowing yourself and what you need, not anybody else.
00:48:36:21 - 00:49:03:13
Loren
But what you need is really important, so that you can have a labor that aligns with you and that you're going to look back on and feel like, okay, I'm okay with the way this month. So I knew I needed to change something. I knew something was kind of off. and it wasn't what I was expecting. As far as like, pain, because once it started to get painful, I was like, okay, something is off here.
00:49:03:15 - 00:49:34:19
Loren
I need to reprieve. I've been at this a long time. I need a break. Let's transfer. Because, like, I'm not going to beat a dead horse. I'm not going to. The definition of insanity is to just keep doing the same thing over and over again. So I needed to change something, and that's when I decided to transfer. So, you know, when I was pushing, I was so relieved because I had felt like pushing for a whole day, like over 24 hours.
00:49:34:19 - 00:49:39:21
Loren
And when it was time to push, I was just like, Hallelujah, thank.
00:49:39:23 - 00:49:54:07
Alex
You. You should have seen my reaction. You were like, absorbed in, you know, labor land. but I was sitting next to our midwife, and as soon as they said that, I was like, I just went like this on her shoulder finally.
00:49:54:09 - 00:50:24:01
Loren
And I wasn't saying hallelujah because I was, like, ready for it to be over, although, like, you know, by that time I was tired, but it was more like I had been suppressing this feeling that I've been wanting to exert. I've been like, wanting to push this whole time. And I couldn't because I wasn't dilated enough. And like, I wasn't suppressing that urge, but I certainly wasn't trying to push harder in an already swollen cervix.
00:50:24:03 - 00:50:45:09
Loren
So, yeah, I think that's what I would say about that. And then again, I think your intuition will be tested to the max. So really start to get familiar with it and follow it, because I think that we had such a great experience. Our midwife said that it was a ten out of ten transfer, like the best transfer she's ever had.
00:50:45:15 - 00:50:45:20
Loren
Yeah, I.
00:50:45:20 - 00:50:47:05
Alex
Was very fortunate for us.
00:50:47:06 - 00:51:11:22
Loren
Yeah. So I think it's really important to be prepared for possibly that scenario. Again, be prepared with what you want and don't want, because once you get there and you are in labor, you're not going to be able to think about any of that. Yeah. So let me talk about, what the reasons I think that the stalling happened and you can chime in too.
00:51:11:22 - 00:51:41:00
Loren
But after talking to like, some of the specialists that I work with, like my chiropractor and my physiotherapist, I think this is what happened. So maybe dropped into my cervix or dropped low to like, almost like two fast like bonked his head caused inflammation. But the reason that he was stuck there is because his head was just like slightly not in the right position.
00:51:41:01 - 00:51:43:00
Alex
It was like kind of.
00:51:43:02 - 00:52:07:15
Loren
It was straight on when he's supposed to be like reaching up, it's vertex, but it's a variation in vertex, so it's head down, but a variation of that, and his head just wasn't cocked in the right way. And your uterus is supposed to take care of that for you. But based on the labor and delivery that I had, based on how he came out to, he came out like a dolphin.
00:52:07:17 - 00:52:16:14
Loren
That's not usually the way that they come out. They twist their bodies. At some point. He just. You mean.
00:52:16:16 - 00:52:52:06
Loren
Well, you know, he came out like this. oh, no. He's supposed to come out like, you know. So baby ended up having a tongue tie that we, you know, can talk about. I think I'm going to have, a separate episode on, like, tongue ties. I want his part in OT to come on and talk about, you know, midline restrictions and all that because they'll talk about how there's not a lot of studies done on this yet because, well, one, they're becoming more common, but also like they're becoming more observed and noticed.
00:52:52:08 - 00:53:21:14
Loren
And suffice to say, like I prepared for that scenario. Like I worked on mitigating that. But sometimes tongue ties are not only just due to methylation and like nutrients. We just baby just had one. So because of that midline restriction, I think that he could not cork his head back as easily as a baby without midline restriction. And that's also why he came out like a dolphin.
00:53:21:16 - 00:53:39:13
Loren
but, I think that is also one of the reasons why he ended up sitting in my pelvis for so long is because he just needed that little help. And so the manual work, once we got the inflammation down, the manual work with the peanut ball was able to help him get his head into the right position.
00:53:39:15 - 00:53:49:17
Loren
But that's kind of why I think that happened. We'll never know for sure because there's no done and dusted down, done and dusted. But yeah. So question for you.
00:53:49:17 - 00:53:50:13
Alex
Sure.
00:53:50:15 - 00:53:54:01
Loren
What did you do to prepare to support me for labor?
00:53:54:03 - 00:54:04:06
Alex
For labor? Well, I read a couple of books, which I think is important. I read. So you're having a baby. What's the orange book called?
00:54:04:08 - 00:54:06:12
Loren
the, ideal birth partner.
00:54:06:12 - 00:54:29:13
Alex
The ideal birth partner. There might have been one other one that I was, like, flipping through because it was quite long and there was a lot of content, but there was some chapters dedicated to birth partners. I just but, you know a lot about a lot of that. I spoke with the midwife about kind of the role of the birth partner and, and helping support, you know, my wife, while she was giving birth, you know, mentally preparing on my own terms.
00:54:29:13 - 00:54:51:00
Alex
But, I knew that I had to be there to support her emotionally. Physically, and to give her my attention so that she had the help that she needed to get through the successfully. And I think, one of the, I think one of the key things and a birth partner that could, you know, could really do just to, to help out is just be present, right.
00:54:51:03 - 00:55:11:02
Alex
Just don't don't walk out of the room unless like, it's a planned break or whatever. Be present, be there. Offer your support verbally, physically, whatever they need, and listen to them. Don't it. Don't insert yourself into the situation with I think you should do this and this and this, right? Like listen to what they're feeling. Ask how you can help them out.
00:55:11:04 - 00:55:28:01
Alex
And also, you know, if you have a midwife, maybe ask the midwife on the side. So you know you're not throwing too much at them. Like when they're when they're trying to focus on pain and, and you know, endurance. So I think there's a lot you can do. But that's kind of I think what my experience primarily was.
00:55:28:07 - 00:55:40:13
Loren
Yeah, I would say you were an amazing birth partner. Thank you. And before I went into labor two, I said, I don't want to be saved. Please don't try to save me because.
00:55:40:18 - 00:55:42:19
Alex
I just yeah, just offered support and really.
00:55:42:21 - 00:55:59:22
Loren
A lot of the time, you know, you always try to make things better. And I wanted this to just I wanted to just be able to experience this without the pressure of, like, he thinks there's something wrong. Let me, you know, maybe there is something wrong, like, you know, you.
00:55:59:22 - 00:56:20:22
Alex
Know, one of the other things I think, too, is to take or try to take away external stimulus that you don't need to worry about, right? Yeah. Like I went and I got food ready. Right. So we don't have to worry about food now. She's going to have food like little. There's a lot of little things that you can do outside of the the actual labor experience that are supporting in their own way as well.
00:56:21:01 - 00:56:28:15
Loren
Right. Yeah. And I just really wanted to acknowledge that, though, that you really let me just be and you didn't try to save.
00:56:28:15 - 00:56:33:02
Alex
Me your experience. Yeah. I just tried to fulfill your wishes as best I could.
00:56:33:05 - 00:56:42:06
Loren
Yeah. You're in the best. let's see what other questions we have. Was there ever a point where you were freaking out?
00:56:42:06 - 00:57:00:21
Alex
Only when the water broke through. I had to calm down. I don't know, it's. It's just. Maybe it's just me, right? There really was no reason to panic, given how long labor is just in general. Like there was plenty of time to get the little chores done, but it was just like, oh my God, it's happening right now,
00:57:01:00 - 00:57:23:18
Alex
God, I guess so. That's kind of the only really moment I was freaking out. The only thing I will say was that there was a point where, for lack of a better term, I was feeling emotionally not traumatized, but I was getting emotionally drained. But it was because we hit that wall and I could see you in so much pain without progress, right?
00:57:23:18 - 00:57:38:11
Alex
If there was progress, I think I would have been totally fine. But because there wasn't progress, there was a point where I was getting a little bit emotional and it was just draining me. So I was like, you know, oh crap, what? Should we move to plan B? Right? And then we had the conversation with the midwife and made that decision.
00:57:38:11 - 00:57:39:20
Alex
And ultimately everything worked out.
00:57:39:23 - 00:57:46:07
Loren
So yeah, it won't be, it's not for the light hearted.
00:57:46:09 - 00:58:12:06
Alex
Yeah, but you have to, you know, everyone internalizes their emotions differently. but I would just say, you know, don't be stoic. You can show your emotion. Emotion. But you have to realize that a lot is going to happen. Unexpected things will happen. Keep control of your emotions. Be ready for plan B, like you've been saying. And if you need to make that decision, you make that decision.
00:58:12:08 - 00:58:14:05
Alex
And that's just how it goes.
00:58:14:07 - 00:58:32:17
Loren
Yeah, I think the best way to describe it too, is like providing as little interference. Like when I think of interference, like radio waves, almost as as possible for, you know, you or me to do my job and focus. and you did a really great job of that.
00:58:32:17 - 00:58:41:19
Alex
Yeah. I will say, like any, any partner out there, don't don't be like, 21 questions. Can I get you this? Can I do that? Can I do that? Can I do this. Can I do that. Because that's just going to like that's that radio interference right.
00:58:41:19 - 00:58:49:24
Loren
Yeah. Yeah yeah. Another question too is like what is what was it like watching your wife in her ultimate form?
00:58:50:01 - 00:59:05:24
Alex
What did I call it? I think I called you oh, like a warrior goddess or something, right. I think there's something like that. When we were when we were like, on the final, like maybe when it was over, like when we had. Then the baby was coming out. I, I just don't remember. But I mean, it was incredible, right?
00:59:05:24 - 00:59:30:15
Alex
She she persevered through. It was the 28 hours of plus of labor, 30 over 30 hours of labor, you know, and experiencing that wall and then talking about, I mean, it was incredible. She's incredibly strong. she powered through it like a champion. And, it was it was a very interesting in a good way. And I give it, you know, it's like it's a once in a lifetime experience.
00:59:30:15 - 00:59:46:05
Alex
It's not something it happens to you every day. Right? So you're watching the person that you love go through something like that. It's empowering as the partner. I mean, I feel empowered, you know, it was just an amazing experience to watch her be that warrior goddess, that power through it.
00:59:46:05 - 01:00:05:04
Loren
So well. Thanks. Well, I want to give, a huge shout out to our midwife, Katie and Shalom and, they're at Sierra madre midwifery and Thornton.
01:00:05:04 - 01:00:07:00
Alex
Katie's daughter, Kaylie's.
01:00:07:05 - 01:00:10:09
Loren
Was the doula midwife assistant who.
01:00:10:11 - 01:00:22:06
Alex
Coincidentally, she. Shalom, who was the other midwife in the practice that usually they do it together was also pregnant and was two pregnancies and and our birth.
01:00:22:06 - 01:00:23:24
Loren
So that Shalom was great to.
01:00:24:03 - 01:00:28:05
Alex
Show them was awesome too. So Kaylee's ended up helping out. So many thanks to all three of them.
01:00:28:05 - 01:00:39:13
Loren
Yeah, we love you guys. And another question is, would you home birth again? If so, what would you do differently and what would you keep the same?
01:00:39:15 - 01:00:43:07
Alex
Is this for me or is this for a both? I think for both of us, I think we would do it again.
01:00:43:12 - 01:00:44:05
Loren
I think yeah, I.
01:00:44:05 - 01:00:48:19
Alex
Think we have more we have more knowledge going into it. Round two of.
01:00:48:19 - 01:00:50:16
Loren
Course with any experience.
01:00:50:16 - 01:01:05:02
Alex
Yeah. I think, you know, there's probably a couple of slight preparation differences, but I would go through the same steps of vetting plan B and plan C, but, you know, like I said earlier, maybe being like fully prepared for plan B, so there's a little bit less like hectic.
01:01:05:07 - 01:01:12:07
Loren
Earlier on, like preparing maybe that bag a month in advance. Yeah. Other than not.
01:01:12:09 - 01:01:16:00
Alex
Just having it, me throwing a bunch of crap into a bag that day off.
01:01:16:02 - 01:01:19:00
Loren
I mean, you did a pretty good job though, given the circumstances.
01:01:19:02 - 01:01:38:07
Alex
You know, I think, listen, you might always forget, like, little things, but, you know, I think you just, again, like, personally, the only thing that I thought was very interesting was like, I'm just going to tangent here a little bit, but like when we when do we actually gave birth at the hospital, a lot of stuff comes out of you other than the baby.
01:01:38:09 - 01:01:57:03
Alex
So I was like, wow, I can't imagine doing this at home. But I had a conversation with the midwife and she was like, yeah, we have all of the materials necessary for to prepare for all of that and all the cleanup that goes into em. So like, totally, I would do it again at home. I think one of the biggest factors that I noticed because we were at home was her comfort level.
01:01:57:03 - 01:02:17:18
Alex
Outside of all the pain of labor, but being at home, being with our dogs. We love being in your bed, being in your own bathtub, having me to go grab something in the house or you know, the food we need. You need to eat something. It's a home cooked food. It's not hospital food. There's like a ton of benefits to doing it at home.
01:02:17:20 - 01:02:31:19
Alex
You know, unless you're a huge Western medicine advocate, which is totally acceptable. Anyway. Everyone's got different opinions on things, right? But, you know, I think doing it at home offers you a ton of comfort that you would not get at a hospital.
01:02:31:21 - 01:03:01:23
Loren
Yeah, yeah, I would say too, like you're just so much more monitored and in like an intrusive way of hospital, like they're my midwife was always taking my vitals and the baby's vitals, but it was so much less intrusive and disruptive to what my process was then like when we got to the hospital. And they needed to check my blood pressure and they needed to, like, you know, do all this stuff every hour and, or like, was it every hour or four hours?
01:03:02:01 - 01:03:03:10
Loren
It felt like every hour.
01:03:03:12 - 01:03:05:01
Alex
Felt like every hour.
01:03:05:03 - 01:03:30:19
Loren
From the postpartum perspective, like after labor and the recovery, I really did not like being in the hospital at all. I think that's where like, not just the home birth part of giving birth signs, but like the home birth part of the postpartum experience is really, really awesome. And I was so glad to be home because it was not restful being at the hospital.
01:03:30:21 - 01:03:45:10
Loren
They were coming in constantly and no matter how much we told them to please, just not. It was a completely different team from the birthing team once you were in the postpartum wing and I just was so over it.
01:03:45:12 - 01:03:59:02
Alex
I was over the food. One of the best nights that we had at the hospital was when we order takeout and had some real food, not just the hospital food. No offense to the hospital, but the food wasn't the only thing. It was like sandwiches and juice and milk. Right.
01:03:59:02 - 01:04:24:04
Loren
So yeah, I yeah. So that's something else. Like I really noticed and would really why one of the reasons I would welcome home birth again. And you know I think your body also kind of like has done this already. at the second time too. So the likelihood of me having the same issue I did the first time is not high.
01:04:24:06 - 01:04:48:16
Loren
And my midwife also said I would be a great candidate for a home birth again, just having gone through what, you know, sometimes, you know, midwives will witness, okay, this person maybe didn't handle things. You know, some people think home birth is for them and then it doesn't end up being for them. And that's why they transfer. Or, you know, maybe they experience some complications during pregnancy.
01:04:48:18 - 01:05:09:13
Loren
My midwife wanted to clone me during my whole pregnancy. And she also said, like, if you wanted to do home birth again, you would be a perfect candidate to do so. And so I think that's just a reflection of like, okay, this was a really good fit. It just, you know, I needed something else at a certain point.
01:05:09:13 - 01:05:23:14
Loren
And that's when Western medicine came into play. And I'm glad I had both options, but I totally would consider that. And we're not we're not trying to get pregnant in the immediate future, but,
01:05:23:16 - 01:05:27:08
Alex
Sleep with the baby. Yeah. Consistent sleep first.
01:05:27:10 - 01:05:28:00
Loren
Yeah.
01:05:28:02 - 01:05:29:04
Alex
And consider something.
01:05:29:07 - 01:06:10:06
Loren
Yeah. As far as breastfeeding, I had no issues out of the gate. Somebody asked, do you feel like your total calorie intake directly contributes to your breast milk production? yes it does, especially in the first three months while your breast milk production is getting set, and tuned. But, you know, there is a threshold that is unique to every woman that they have to get, like some women are more affected with caloric fluctuations than others, but absolutely, you need to eat to produce enough breast milk, breast milk production, like nursing is, requires more calories and more nutrients than when you are pregnant.
01:06:10:08 - 01:06:35:01
Loren
So just keep that in mind. Like especially in the media postpartum, your body has gone through so much, it just went through ten months of building a human. Yeah. so I think it's okay to give yourself grace and to not enter this sort of like catabolic venture of trying to get your body back, because honestly, like, why would you want to get your body back?
01:06:35:01 - 01:06:54:22
Loren
You've just achieved the greatest feat human nature has to offer. Like, you know, I think that they you have to respect that and give your body mad props for what I just did and allow it to heal and give itself time to heal and nourishment.
01:06:54:22 - 01:07:01:22
Alex
So and on that, on that front, too, there's a lot of nutritious decisions that you can make to help with the healing process.
01:07:01:23 - 01:07:03:09
Loren
Okay. Yeah.
01:07:03:11 - 01:07:19:14
Alex
I think what the first thing we made was like a very like collagen, gelatin, like, chicken noodle soup. And there's lots of protein and vegetables and all that extra nutrition. And we were adding ingredients to give her that sort of stuff just to help with the healing process.
01:07:19:19 - 01:07:30:15
Loren
Yeah, yeah. We have been very intentional with the foods that I eat. I was told by the, by the pediatrician that I have bionic breast milk, because.
01:07:30:15 - 01:07:32:18
Alex
That was a fun statement he made.
01:07:32:20 - 01:07:57:03
Loren
Because the baby's so big and he's a breastfed baby. And so that was cool. I also had pelvic floor recovery was great. There's nothing wrong. some of my, like, two of my muscles were a little tighter than, the others. So I've just been working on that and it's been great. and I had no diocese's recti.
01:07:57:03 - 01:08:31:00
Loren
So the separation of the abs. So that was really awesome to to know that all the work that I did preparing before pregnancy and during pregnancy, was really supporting my postpartum recovery. let's see, one of you asked things that you did took to help support your body the first week after birth. So a lot of just to piggyback on what Alex was saying about the foods that we were so intentional with, a lot of them are actually from the recipe guide, that I have.
01:08:31:00 - 01:09:06:14
Loren
It's called the net nourishment. And there basically like really intentionally formulated recipes that have like tons of the nutrients and they're prepared in the ways that would support postpartum healing. So you really want to make it as easy as possible for your body to get nutrients and reduce the stress as much as possible on your body in terms of forcing it to digest food and like, spend so much energy on that when it really needs to be focusing on healing your uterus, uterus was the size of a watermelon.
01:09:06:14 - 01:09:34:03
Loren
It needs to contract and then also heal the tissues inside of it. You have a wound that is the size of your placenta in your uterus, and that also needs to heal. So really allowing for the environment to be able to heal and providing your body with the fuel it needs, the vitamins and minerals, the proteins, the amino acids, the carbohydrates, the fats to really support all that.
01:09:34:05 - 01:09:50:09
Loren
So that's really what I focus on in the especially not even just the first week after pregnancy. But like first, I would say a month and a half at least. Yeah, anything you would add? I mean, you were just feeding me.
01:09:50:11 - 01:09:53:10
Alex
Yeah. That's kind of one of my roles in this family I like I really like cooking.
01:09:53:12 - 01:09:54:20
Loren
He's a really amazing cook.
01:09:54:24 - 01:10:14:11
Alex
And it's it's fun to put together recipes based off of specific ingredients that Lauren would like to include in, you know, in these recipes, for whatever reason, whether it's healing or it's preparation. I it's just, you know, I like to focus on that piece of it to help kind of support her during pregnancy and also postpartum.
01:10:14:13 - 01:10:42:16
Loren
Yeah. Yeah. He is the flavor. I'm like the raw ingredients person. I want this combination of nutrients or like I want to make a recipe with this. And then he will come up with like, okay, we can add this and this make it flavor. And yeah. so really honestly you're like the co author of that recipe. you feed me.
01:10:42:18 - 01:11:10:12
Loren
Yeah. Really. Well and I'm grateful. Another question is are there things you wish you would have focused on more during the pre-conception slash pregnancy part? I would personally say during pregnancy I wish I had taken more time downtime. I was working a lot. I was working on relaunching Conscious Inception. I wanted to get this version, this updated version, out to you guys because I know how much it was needed.
01:11:10:14 - 01:11:33:06
Loren
and I am so glad I did because there have been so many pregnancies since the launch and it hasn't even been a year. I'm just like, blown away. Every week is like, what you're pregnant? Oh my God, so many stories. It's it's beautiful. But it did take a toll on me. And just not being able to like, take the downtime that I needed.
01:11:33:08 - 01:11:59:16
Loren
You know, I sacrificed some time with him. I sacrificed some time with family. I sacrificed, some time. Just like taking naps, you know, like my body needed. Maybe that's why baby doesn't sleep. But, you know, that's kind of what I would have changed. I would have probably pushed it out or figured out another way to get you the information you needed without sacrificing so much.
01:11:59:16 - 01:12:01:24
Loren
But is there anything else you would have done?
01:12:02:01 - 01:12:21:14
Alex
I think, you know, just maybe supporting you as a a little bit more, given how busy you were? to be honest, like, I was slightly selfish, like, oh, I gotta get a lot of stuff in before the baby comes, right? Play a lot of golf. But, you know, just making sure I'm as present as possible, which I was.
01:12:21:14 - 01:12:40:02
Alex
But, you know, just making sure, like, getting you the support that you needed as much as you needed it. could have been a little bit more in focus, but I think overall it was it was it was fine. but again, if you're, if you're working and there's time. Right? There's only so much to do. But if we could have found that balance together, maybe as a focus would have been great.
01:12:40:05 - 01:12:40:14
Alex
Yeah.
01:12:40:14 - 01:13:01:07
Loren
Spend more time a little bit more time together. But you supported me. You gave me the space. And you also made sure I was fed. So that was a huge help. one of the questions is, what's been the hardest thing for you? Postpartum. So honestly, sleep.
01:13:01:09 - 01:13:04:08
Alex
I, I knew that was going to be the answer.
01:13:04:10 - 01:13:13:11
Loren
I am so glad I prepared my body because to me, running on this little sleep is very difficult.
01:13:13:16 - 01:13:42:00
Alex
Every baby's different though. We've talked to a lot of different people. babies sleep better than others. Some babies don't sleep as well as others. Baby tends to be on the more difficult side for sleep. But, you know, we're making changes and we're we're adapting and we're seeing some progress, and that's what's important. So and he's a healthy baby because a lot of the preparation work that that Lauren did pre-conception and postpartum and during the pregnancy.
01:13:42:00 - 01:13:52:20
Alex
Right. So it helps set him up for success once he was born. So, the fact that he is healthy is amazing. but we do wish that he would sleep a little bit better.
01:13:52:22 - 01:14:07:17
Loren
He's in, like, the 90th percentile or above for like weight, height, everything. His developmental milestones have come super early. Every single one. But he does not sleep, does not sleep. Or when we say he does not.
01:14:07:17 - 01:14:09:15
Alex
Sleep, he's like, it's just wakes up a lot.
01:14:09:16 - 01:14:16:22
Loren
He wakes up a lot and he's like one of those babies that needs very on the lower end of the spectrum, free.
01:14:16:24 - 01:14:22:17
Alex
You just said, yeah. And he kind of tends to need a little bit of extra. Kind of like he it's okay. Sleep time, you know.
01:14:22:19 - 01:14:23:11
Loren
Yeah.
01:14:23:13 - 01:14:24:12
Alex
I'll just put him down.
01:14:24:18 - 01:14:51:12
Loren
He just has major FOMO and. Yeah. So that's been hard. You know, we've had to adapt and we've made as much work as possible. and work constantly adapting because things are constantly changing. But part of it is just like also not caring how little sleep you're getting. I was talking to my friend, Holly the other day, and she was like, yeah, that's going to change for me.
01:14:51:12 - 01:14:58:21
Loren
And I was like, yeah, honestly, when I stopped caring, that's when things really shifted. But yeah.
01:14:58:23 - 01:15:09:12
Alex
You know, I think I cope a little bit better than you, probably because I like to drink caffeine and that's helpful. So, you know, I can always have a nice big cup of coffee in the morning to help me get ready for work. After a rough night of sleep.
01:15:09:14 - 01:15:30:03
Loren
Yeah. I don't I have like, really not done caffeine because I'm going to try to sleep when he's sleeping. Usually we sleep. Yeah. so I'm going to take every chance I can get to catch up. But that's honestly been the hardest part. But you'd be amazed what you can get done. just like three hours of sleep.
01:15:30:05 - 01:15:32:09
Alex
Yeah. A full day of work.
01:15:32:11 - 01:15:49:14
Loren
Yeah. So, yeah, somebody else asked, and I was taking things like a little bit earlier on the timeline. Somebody asked how you prepared for getting pregnant. So is there anything that you did for Pre-conception or did you prepare for conception basic?
01:15:49:14 - 01:16:17:08
Alex
Oh, absolutely. Prepared. on your guidance and the research that you've put together, taking specific supplements, making certain food choices, cutting things like alcohol, I tried to basically get my body in the healthiest state I could, while also taking additional nutrients that promote my sexual health. so we can have a successful pregnancy that, you know, working out as well.
01:16:17:08 - 01:16:40:01
Alex
Try to boosting my testosterone normal, normal kind of activities like that. But, you know, I think with Lauren's guidance and, you know, the research that she's put into the course and, you know, potential future offerings that can help men with, preconception as well. You know, we we got pregnant on the first try. So I think all of the work that we did together made us fortunate enough to get back putting on that first try.
01:16:40:01 - 01:16:55:09
Alex
So, you know, absolutely. I think there are things that men can do to prepare for this from a from a pregnancy standpoint, obviously it's all going to be the woman. Right? But what we can do to prepare ourselves to at least help with the successful pregnancy, you know, we should we should do that and prepare for it.
01:16:55:11 - 01:17:06:00
Loren
Yeah. Yeah. He really put in a lot of work. Well, I wouldn't say a lot, but like, oh, thanks. No, no, I mean, like, I don't want to, like, make it seem like you changed your complete.
01:17:06:01 - 01:17:15:11
Alex
No, no, no, I mean, we it's it's it's it's, nutrition and nutrition choices and adding things or subtracting things, but doing it in a deliberate way.
01:17:15:12 - 01:17:30:00
Loren
Yeah. Very intentional tweaks like here, here. Dialing down this, dialing up this. And like in a way that, well, you won't have to overhaul everything because like it has to be sustainable and.
01:17:30:06 - 01:17:38:07
Alex
You want to make strong swimmers, right? Yeah. Strong healthy swimmers. That was the goal. And I think there are things you can do to do that.
01:17:38:13 - 01:18:07:03
Loren
Yeah for sure. Absolutely. It takes two to tango. and it you know your health also affects your sperm health also affects how my pregnancy will go. There are pregnancy complications linked back to sperm health. So it's really, really important to get both partners preparing and that's why you alluded to it. But I'm going to be releasing a male pre-conception resource soon.
01:18:07:05 - 01:18:17:14
Loren
So stay tuned for that because I'm excited and it's much needed. But yeah, I think that yeah, it's it's definitely a partnership for sure.
01:18:17:14 - 01:18:31:05
Alex
Yeah. And men should do their part in this as well. Right. It's not just as simple as having sex with your partner and boom you're going to get pregnant, right? There's a lot you can do to have both of you prepare for a successful pregnancy.
01:18:31:07 - 01:18:38:05
Loren
Yeah I agree. Are there any other parting words that you would like to bestow?
01:18:38:07 - 01:18:56:20
Alex
Be there for your ladies men. If you're listening, provide support. Do your part. Make the effort. You know, I think, like Lauren said, it does take two to tango. And there's a lot of things that you can do to to help for a successful pregnancy. And, you should do that. So those are my words of wisdom for you.
01:18:56:22 - 01:19:02:08
Loren
I think they're very wise words. Yeah. Thanks for coming. Of course.
01:19:02:10 - 01:19:05:01
Alex
Happy to be here. Happy to answer questions. Yeah.
01:19:05:01 - 01:19:20:04
Loren
Let us know how you like this episode. And yeah, maybe we can do a part two or do a Q&A with Mr. Nate Fertility at some point, but I'll answer the rest of the Q&A. I appreciate you joining Harvey.
01:19:20:07 - 01:19:23:01
Alex
Yeah, thanks. I'll happy happy to join.
01:19:23:03 - 01:19:46:02
Loren
All right, guys, for the Q&A portion of this episode, I am kind of going solo on this, but trust me, Mr. Nate fertility has definitely contributed to a lot of the answers. And these are questions that you asked, on Instagram. But also if you're a core student in conscious inception, I am answering your questions as well.
01:19:46:02 - 01:20:08:08
Loren
So there's a mixture of questions. There's quite a few. So I'm just going to dive right in and get to it. So the first question is I'd like to I actually want to know more about your pregnancy 14 weeks thanks to your course. So first of all, congratulations. I'm so happy for you. I am so rooting for you and for your pregnancy.
01:20:08:10 - 01:20:35:20
Loren
Regarding my pregnancy, definitely listen to the earlier part of this episode, but definitely also check out season two, the last episode of last season where I talk about my fertility and pregnancy journey. I'll include a link in the show notes of this episode, but my pregnancy was incredible. It was very smooth, very healthy. I felt vibrant, I felt energetic, and I couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy.
01:20:35:20 - 01:21:18:12
Loren
So definitely check that out. I also talk about what I did intervention that I opted in for, opted out of, and more. So check it out. The next question is did you have doubts that you could do it? If so, for how long? 22 weeks and struggling. So I never really had doubts. And a lot of the doubts that I think women have are kind of like subconsciously ingrained in them because of the movies that we grew up watching that really show birth as this intense, crazy, chaotic, painful thing where, you know, a woman needs to be helped and is not capable of birthing and is just like, completely helpless.
01:21:18:14 - 01:21:49:21
Loren
That is not the way that birth is, at least in my mind. I. Of course I had to do a lot of this undoing, but I've been doing that for a long time, and since I've been coaching, it's just not even a thing. And it's something that I coach a lot of my clients and students on too, is to kind of let go of these sort of biases that we have grown up getting planted in our heads, and the way that you perceive something is going to influence the way that you experience it.
01:21:49:21 - 01:22:16:04
Loren
And so a lot of the aspects of like doubts really come from our perceptions, and we need to do a lot of undoing to get those out of our heads. So a few things that helped me feel prepared and helped me feel like I could do it. I never had doubts that I couldn't do it. I felt completely stress free about leading up to labor and delivery because I was ready for it.
01:22:16:06 - 01:22:33:07
Loren
I didn't have any doubts or worries that my body wasn't going to be able to do it. Honestly, that is the God honest truth, and I think a lot of what helped with that was preparing. So I had prepared my pelvic floor for a long time, my nervous system for a long time. I knew what I was going to eat during labor.
01:22:33:09 - 01:23:00:15
Loren
I was educated on the entire process and so I really didn't have a lot of worry and a lot of the preparation I was doing way before even getting pregnant. I also knew that thousands of generations of women have done it before me, and I was really inspired by that. And I did a lot of family tree research, honestly, leading up to my birth, something that I really enjoyed doing and was just called to do, and I was just continuously in all the women in my lineage.
01:23:00:16 - 01:23:30:09
Loren
They had 12 children multiple times. And like back then, you know, I know I had family on an island and, you know, they were farmers. Like, we have so much available to us to make birth comfortable. They did not. And they still did it. Many, many, many, many, many times over. And I think just take solace in the fact that, like your body in its DNA knows what to do, because that's what all of the women before you have done.
01:23:30:09 - 01:23:46:17
Loren
Literally. That's why you're here. So I think if you can look at it from that perspective, I think it takes a lot of that stress off. And that's just, you know, one way of looking at it and just a little bit of what I would say to you, but, you know, take some time to really, really process that and see if that helps.
01:23:46:19 - 01:24:17:04
Loren
What helps you prepare for the pain? Did you take courses, read books to help with your breathing slash perspective during labor? So a lot of the work that supports the body's natural processes for labor involves proper pelvic floor engagement and nervous system regulation. And these are two things that I focus on a lot during pregnancy, but even more before that during my pre-conception period, because I wanted to have a really regulated pregnancy and knowing how to relax your pelvic floor, knowing how to cope with stress and pain in ways that work for you.
01:24:17:04 - 01:24:44:19
Loren
Not anyone else you know. Understanding how you respond to stress. Pain is also key to figuring out what will work for you. As I mentioned earlier too, I think a lot of people get the pain free birth movement completely wrong and they're upset and they feel like they are sold something that didn't work. And because their birth wasn't pain free, birth is intense and it can absolutely be painful.
01:24:44:21 - 01:25:23:11
Loren
I am not saying that birth is not pain free. My birth was painful, especially at a certain point, but it's the education of the process and the making things less painful through understanding and intention that really help you get through it as well. In addition to having that body support, that neurological nervous system support, that pelvic floor support that can just run on autopilot because you've practiced it so much in terms of when the pain gets intense, just being able to surrender instead of worrying and becoming so overwhelmed with it that you just clam up.
01:25:23:13 - 01:25:51:09
Loren
All of this paired with pelvic floor nervous system prep, and also knowing my own boundaries and limits, really helped me get through the very long, active labor that I had. Even when things were hitting a wall. As you know, my husband and I shared, and I think also like a lot of the exercises that we do pre-conception in terms of connecting with our babies, in my course we engage that too.
01:25:51:14 - 01:26:23:18
Loren
During labor, we want to continue the momentum of that, and that really is something that I held on too. I was never like, oh, I can't meet you right now. I was just like, I'm ready to meet you. I can't wait to meet you. And, I think that was one of the things that I, I really tried to flex during my labor, too, is just being that open and receptive person, that woman, that mother that my baby needed me to be for him.
01:26:23:20 - 01:26:50:10
Loren
your nutritional support during labor and delivery. I had it so many options for liquids like coconut water, electrolyte powders, juices, broths so that I could stay hydrated. A lot of the supplements in the hydration lesson in conscious consumption, I utilized, a lot of the sort of like things that we talked about. I utilize that that was like my, my Bible for, labor and delivery.
01:26:50:16 - 01:27:12:03
Loren
As far as food, we were a little less prepared because, as you learned on the episode, we thought that we were going to go into labor like a lot later. We ended up going into labor slightly early. So we had, a lot of snacks in the house. But my husband immediately, as soon as I started going into labor, started making lamb stew.
01:27:12:03 - 01:27:32:13
Loren
So it smells really good in the house. And I ate that throughout the labor. I really didn't have a lot of appetite, but I forced myself to eat to continuously make sure that I had enough calories and energy to continue laboring. And because it was so rapid and quick and, I also had things like dried fruits, even some nuts.
01:27:32:13 - 01:27:52:14
Loren
I'm not a huge fan of nuts, but I really needed a fat to help stabilize my blood sugar. Or at least I wanted to have this to support my blood sugar stabilization when I didn't feel like eating, and I knew that I needed to kind of re-up on my calories. So that's when I really flexed and utilized those things.
01:27:52:14 - 01:28:22:00
Loren
Like nuts, which I typically wouldn't eat a ton of. But they were very helpful, and they serve their purpose as a tool. So that's kind of what I ate. And, you know, of course, when you transfer to the hospital, if you do get an epidural, you're on a liquid only diet. So, just FYI, if you didn't know, you know, I was limited to just liquids at that point, but I really tried to burrito's what I was eating, like I had dairy milk, yogurt.
01:28:22:00 - 01:28:48:05
Loren
I had broth again. I had jello, that kind of stuff. Just to really get some calories in me and continue the sustenance to support my energy during labor. So that's kind of what I, what I did once I transferred to, what techniques did you use to get through transition? So a lot of breathing, really controlled breathing to control my heart rate, to control.
01:28:48:07 - 01:29:12:10
Loren
Sort of like my reaction in terms of my nervous system. a lot of counter pressure. Sometimes I didn't want counter pressure, but sometimes I did, and my husband would perform a lot of the counter pressure. But sometimes men are really strong, and sometimes it was too much. And so sometimes I needed a little bit gentler counter pressure, which is where my do like came into play.
01:29:12:12 - 01:29:32:23
Loren
And, you know, they would also communicate and she would coach him as well because she's done this so many times. So it was really helpful. Dim lighting I also was wearing this, terrycloth poncho. It was like a towel. Poncho. And I just had the hood over my head a lot of the time, because I just wanted to be, like, in my own little space.
01:29:33:00 - 01:29:52:18
Loren
and it was really comfortable because it helped me transition from, like, the shower to the bath to the bed to the bathroom, like, and really easily. So there's literally when I wore my entire labor and, changes of scenery. So as I mentioned, I was transferring different areas and it would help me to labor on the toilet.
01:29:52:18 - 01:30:10:04
Loren
It would help me to labor on the bed. It would help me to labor on my hands and knees on the floor and help me to labor in the bath. It would help me to labor, over the counter in the bathroom, like I was changing the scenery a lot depending on what I was feeling. And like if something wasn't feeling good at that time, I would just.
01:30:10:06 - 01:30:34:14
Loren
I need to move somewhere else and I would choose a spot and labor there. So that's kind of what I did, and that's what worked for me through the transition, especially as things got really intense and, you know, the chattering teeth and and stuff like that. How long was your labor, any complications with birth, postpartum, breastfeeding. So I had about 34 hours of active labor.
01:30:34:16 - 01:30:56:12
Loren
Yes. And as I mentioned, like we thought I would be giving birth that evening. So maybe within six, seven hours. But that wall that we hit was really what extended it. And it was just the baby's head was cocked in the wrong position and kept banging on my cervix. So I got inflamed and it was just like this vicious cycle.
01:30:56:14 - 01:31:19:06
Loren
And we tried natural remedies, but we really just needed at the end of the day to transfer. And that's what really helped provide me the rest and decrease the inflammation that was going on, to allow baby to pass through vaginally. So that said, endurance, endurance was much needed. I'm so glad I did a really intentional exercise to prepare for labor.
01:31:19:08 - 01:31:38:12
Loren
Otherwise, you know, as far as like complications with birth, postpartum breastfeeding, I would say like we transferred, you can consider that a complication. It was literally just my plan B and I we'll talk about that more again. But as you know, like I have zero disappointment about it otherwise. Like he was perfectly healthy. and so was I.
01:31:38:12 - 01:32:04:03
Loren
So that's what allowed us to give birth vaginally and have this, like, long extended, labor. And I believe a lot of it was the preparation that I did if I was not prepared cardiovascular early, mentally, it's very possible that I could have gone into a really, gestational hypertension state, very early on or, like, he would start to be stressed.
01:32:04:05 - 01:32:24:22
Loren
So we were both very regulated throughout the entire process. And I think that was really a lot of the nervous system regulation, a lot of the endurance exercise that I did to prepare for labor, and also pelvic floor control, which really made things really smooth. once I was ready to push, I also had barely any blood loss.
01:32:24:24 - 01:32:51:19
Loren
The placenta came out also really smoothly. Barely any blood loss after that to that amazing placenta. Amazingly healthy, super super super super deep red. It was just like, beautiful. and no tearing and no, distresses a little. You know, once I got evaluated for that, a few weeks later. But I was evaluating myself and had a postpartum wrap up session with my pelvic floor physiotherapist as well.
01:32:51:21 - 01:33:16:17
Loren
and so I was really happy to hear that because my belly was very big, compared to and it was really big. And like the middle near my belly button, I did not carry low. I did not carry high. It was just like the middle was just like, really? That was the I guess, like if you would call it like the stretch most stretch point.
01:33:16:19 - 01:33:41:16
Loren
And so I was really happy to hear that too, and feel that I felt like I had good abdominal control a really early on again. So my postpartum, my breast milk came in well and really healthily. I didn't have oversupply or undersupply. It was like a perfect amount. it also got called a bionic breast milk by our pediatrician, who we also carefully chose and love and respects our wishes, too.
01:33:41:20 - 01:34:02:13
Loren
As I mentioned earlier, baby did did end up having a tongue tie. we didn't move on it until around the three month mark because he was eating so well before that. But I will talk more about this because it it deserves like a dedicated episode. And I think I'm going to have his occupational and physical therapist on too, because I love their approach.
01:34:02:13 - 01:34:23:19
Loren
And I think it's so important for families to be, knowledgeable about this in case they're dealing with it, because a tongue tie revision will not be the only thing that solves the tongue tie. You need more than just the revision. So we'll talk more about that. But that I would say like that is a complication postpartum and a complication with breastfeeding.
01:34:23:20 - 01:34:44:02
Loren
But again more to come on that soon. Would you home birth again? If so, what would you do differently and what would you keep the same? We kind of answered this earlier, but I wanted to answer the second part, so I honestly wouldn't do much differently. I plan to have as few people as possible at my birth to support my introversion, but also my nervous system needs.
01:34:44:02 - 01:35:06:24
Loren
I just know that I respond better when there's less people around, and so I, I made a really intentional choice to limit the number of people at my birth. We also had candles in my bedroom, which was very dimly lit, and bathroom, which was very dimly lit, which is also where I did a lot of my laboring. We had lavender essential oil and a diffuser going.
01:35:06:24 - 01:35:30:06
Loren
I really, really enjoy the scent and it's very soothing for me. Early on we put on some music, but I quickly didn't want any and I found it very distracting. So I labored in silence and it was fine for me. Bless my husband, my midwife and my do love. But like, I don't know, I'm sure it would have been nicer for them, but I didn't care.
01:35:30:08 - 01:35:56:08
Loren
I need that's what I needed, I needed silence, and so you find that you will cope differently from the next person, but also throughout your labor, you might need different things. You might find that music is really supportive during your your transition. But I found it like I didn't want any. So, another thing to, like I mentioned, I wore a poncho, towel, a towel, poncho, and literally that's what I wore the entire time.
01:35:56:08 - 01:36:15:21
Loren
It kept me warm, but also helped me through the different environments that I was transitioning to and from. So loved that. Highly recommend having one for labor, I loved it, it was hooded too, so I like I could put the hat on and close my eyes if I wanted to, and it allowed me enough freedom to move around.
01:36:15:21 - 01:36:38:21
Loren
So loved it, loved it, loved it. And like I mentioned, I would have probably prepared food and a hospital back for our plan B sooner, but we were really banking on us going past our due date quite a bit, so I would probably get that ready, like at least two weeks before my quote unquote due date. but that's really what I would do differently.
01:36:38:21 - 01:36:58:20
Loren
I was ready for this home birth, and really I understood what was going to happen. So perhaps this is a slightly different perspective, but if I could do it again, I would. And whenever my husband and I are ready to have a second, there will be a baby in the mix too. So we'll definitely have to plan that out.
01:36:58:20 - 01:37:25:22
Loren
But I haven't decided if I would like him to be part of the birth or not at home. I think it'd be really beautiful, but I also, I want to think about that a little more to. So, you know, I think everyone is different too. And this is just what worked for me. So, feel free to ask around other people, other women, other other students, other women in your community and see what they would they would have done differently for their home births as well.
01:37:25:22 - 01:37:48:10
Loren
Everyone is a little bit different in what they prefer. And like, you know, I know women that want their home birth to be like a party and that it works for them, but that absolutely would not work for me. So it's different to each their own. All right. Next question is did you experience postpartum hair loss? I did and I want to be super clear you are going to experience it.
01:37:48:12 - 01:38:11:10
Loren
It's just a matter of how much. So I have not dieted. My movement has been very gentle and I've kept up with intentional foods and supplements. My postpartum hair loss has stopped and is on the up and up now, and I never felt like it got unwieldy or looked horrible. My hair's also longer than it's been in over a decade and looks very healthy and full.
01:38:11:10 - 01:38:35:03
Loren
So, you know, I think that, everyone is a little bit different in terms of how much they lose. But to minimize the amount that you lose truly, truly, truly Pre-conception preparation is very helpful for nutrient stores, which is really a huge part of postpartum hair loss. You're going to be not sleeping, you are going to have stress.
01:38:35:03 - 01:39:01:14
Loren
So like trying to mitigate all the other stressors and really supporting those nutrient stores and maintaining those nutrient stores that help you make hair and that your hair is made of will also be helpful. I think that's a huge, huge part of it. So because of all the the nutrient stores that I had going into pregnancy and postpartum, I feel like my hair loss was pretty minimal despite like the hormonal drop that occurs that triggers that.
01:39:01:16 - 01:39:28:03
Loren
So that's what I would say about that. Don't be fooled by people saying like, I didn't experience any postpartum hair loss. They definitely did. It's just a matter of how much. So they may maybe they didn't have like a lot, but everyone experiences postpartum hair loss, even dogs that are postpartum. It's just a normal biological process. And a side effect of of giving birth.
01:39:28:05 - 01:39:51:07
Loren
Did your birth go as expected? I'm a first time, dealing with disappointment after mine, so I think there's so much beauty and preparation and it can help you optimize the conditions and give you confidence throughout the process, because planning can help you maintain the things that you can control versus the ones you cannot. However, you do have to release and surrender in birth.
01:39:51:09 - 01:40:20:13
Loren
Going into birth with expectations can lead you to experiencing disappointment. Going back to preparation, it can help you optimize things and give you confidence in your decisions and, the decisions that you're making throughout the process. But it can also help you maintain control the things that you can. However, again, trying to control everything is going to one not allow your nervous system to be where it needs to be to give birth and to it's so often leaves people disappointed.
01:40:20:16 - 01:40:44:06
Loren
I prepared my best. I knew my body was ready. I had planned A, B, and C, all of which I was comfortable with. I made sure of that so that if plan didn't work out, we could move into plan B smoothly and be prepared for that. And that's why, even though you could say things didn't go as expected, did I have zero disappointment or trauma about the way that things went?
01:40:44:08 - 01:41:13:00
Loren
And I will say this again to you. I think a lot of women go into birth with expectations because of what they see on Instagram and what they believe. You know, this is like the epitome of the pinnacle of like the ideal birth. Or they believe this one way of birth is the only way. And they don't even consider preparing for another alternative, and they end up white knuckling their way through their entire labor, even once their body starts to tell them that it needs something different.
01:41:13:02 - 01:41:36:02
Loren
And even though the decisions they're making themselves are actually creating trauma for them, and they end up more than just disappointed. And it's not just happening to first time moms. It's even happening to women that are having their second or third births, and they're trying to have this redemptive birth that they wanted the first time around. They are also white knuckling to have that redemptive birth.
01:41:36:04 - 01:41:58:10
Loren
And I really think that it's difficult to, you know, watch even close family members do that or close friends do that. Again, I think it's different for me because I'm a practitioner and I've seen it all. I chose home birth as my preferred option, but I also have backup alternatives. And I think the more extreme people are about things, especially when it comes to birth.
01:41:58:12 - 01:42:19:06
Loren
Honestly, I think the less experienced they are and I encourage everyone of course, to vouch for their dream birth and to do everything they can to make it happen, but to not let that get in the way. the communication that they need to have with their body to make sure that they, for a lack of a better term, ruin it for themselves.
01:42:19:08 - 01:42:40:03
Loren
And I know this is a bit of tough love, because it's easy to be enchanted by what you see on Instagram versus the reality of what actually happened. But I really do encourage everyone to have a plan A, B, and C, because if things don't go the way you're expecting and you do need to change things, what is that thing going to be?
01:42:40:05 - 01:42:59:07
Loren
And it's difficult to process that and think about that. When you're in the middle of labor, you're more likely to give your power away when you're in that vulnerable state. So if you don't have a plan B or C, of course you're likely going to say, yes, doctor, do whatever you think is best and they're going to do it.
01:42:59:07 - 01:43:21:07
Loren
And it's probably not what you want or perfectly aligned with what you want. And so having that plan and trying to account for like different scenarios and your birthing support should be able to support you with this, like your midwife. or if you're taking any sort of like supplemental birthing course, they should be walking you through what that looks like.
01:43:21:09 - 01:43:42:17
Loren
I think it's really important to prepare not just for your ideal birth, but also for other things that might come along. What will you do then? Are you comfortable with this or are you comfortable with that? How can you choose something that is going to make you feel at peace, so that when you do give birth, you are just ready to give in and go with the flow and allow what needs to happen to happen.
01:43:42:19 - 01:44:09:10
Loren
And the transitions, wherever they're happening, whatever you need is still aligned with what you want, even if it's not at home anymore. So I will just come off my come off my mic now. But I think I've kind of like said it enough, but I'm really serious about it. So anyway, to continue, next question. Did you wait at all to expose baby to younger children by default?
01:44:09:10 - 01:44:28:17
Loren
We just didn't have that many younger children around right away, but we did not wait to expose him to people, and we're not worried about him being around other children. As long as, you know, just use common sense. And that's where boundaries come into play too. Like you have to be very clear to people visiting, hey, don't come if you have a cold.
01:44:28:23 - 01:44:53:11
Loren
Some people don't put that together and sometimes they're like, oh, it's just allergies. No, just be very clear. Like no sniffles, no nothing. Like I we really want to protect our baby. Of course we want you to visit, but just use common sense. And sometimes people's excitement gets in the way of common sense. So sometimes you have to withhold your boundaries around that and just be prepared to do that.
01:44:53:13 - 01:45:14:01
Loren
But if our nieces and nephews had been around like super, super early on, like we would have wanted him him to meet them right away. But we are in Colorado in our most of our families on the East Coast. So. And that just didn't happen right away. what did you do with your placenta? I encapsulate you did it.
01:45:14:03 - 01:45:34:10
Loren
I was told it was an incredibly healthy placenta from the looks of it. I agreed, and I took the encapsulated pill throughout the first few weeks after birth. nutrition focuses postpartum and practices for health mental health postpartum. So we talked about my postpartum nutrition in the main part of the episode. But I do want to touch on the mental health aspect.
01:45:34:12 - 01:46:03:07
Loren
And a big part of that is community and support and being aligned with my partner. So my husband and I have a really good, have really good communication and we have a great relationship, really good communication. I would like to think we are both emotionally intelligent people, and we communicate our needs very clearly before it becomes escalated. And we were in our continuously touching base on what each of us needs in the moment to feel supported and, well, healthy.
01:46:03:09 - 01:46:25:13
Loren
So having your partner on board and having clear roles for, you know, kind of like responsibilities, what each of you is doing is going to be huge. And it's something that we discuss as well and are continuously discussing because again, it's not like set in stone. Your needs may change, his needs may change, and you need to be able to be flexible and be adaptive.
01:46:25:15 - 01:46:51:01
Loren
so communication is huge. And I think also having community friends and family to support you is also incredibly needed. Again, we don't have a huge support system here in Colorado because most of our families on the East Coast. However, the people that I do have a mid corner really showed up. And, you know, I really think that having equality over quantity is great.
01:46:51:03 - 01:47:20:14
Loren
but you know, having that support system is huge. Having friends, having family to lean on, when you need a nap or a shower or like to bring you food, to just check in and see how you're doing is just super important and start building that. Even before you get pregnant. But especially as you're going through pregnancy, not just for the sake of like that, but try not to lose those connections that you already do have.
01:47:20:16 - 01:47:39:11
Loren
And it's it's a really good time to, before the baby's born, to really touch base with everyone and make sure that those friendships and relationships are cared for, too, because, not only will you need them more than ever, it's going to be hard to kind of like, make sure that you're, maintaining them as you get busier, too.
01:47:39:12 - 01:48:08:15
Loren
So it's always good to kind of, you know, touch base in this process. I think also, you will also need to set boundaries, and not only for your well-being, but the well-being of your baby. Like I mentioned earlier, people visiting you need to use common sense. But, for example, one of the things that I needed to create a boundary around was family that wanted to continuously visit during my postpartum period, but also wanted to be entertained.
01:48:08:15 - 01:48:26:15
Loren
So it wasn't a postpartum visit, you know, what do you need here? I'll hold the baby while you nap. Let me bring you food. It was like, we want to see the baby. And when they got here, it was like, do you have any food or beer? And, I want to watch a football game too. So, yes, that happens.
01:48:26:17 - 01:48:55:12
Loren
And we let that family visit way less and only when we were truly ready for that. And we wanted to have an experience like that. Some people are honestly clueless. They make it about themselves. They can be very selfish. And because of that, boundaries are key. And typically I find that this is with the older generation. But, you know, I think that you'll be surprised at the people that kind of surprise you disappoint you.
01:48:55:14 - 01:49:25:03
Loren
It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to uphold boundaries. They will understand. And if they don't, that's on them. So another area I think, regarding mental health is your body. May it be another thing that you find that you're contending with. And just know that by treating your body with respect, the respect that it deserves. After nine months of creating new life and the fact that it's acting as the sole nourishment for your baby too, now is not the time to diet.
01:49:25:05 - 01:49:49:00
Loren
Now is not the time to do intense exercise. Your body bears the beautiful marks of a woman who can create life, and that is invaluable. So don't be so sure that erasing that as quickly as possible to conform to societal standards is what you need to make other people comfortable, or what they think is comfortable like that is probably not what you need.
01:49:49:05 - 01:50:10:19
Loren
So as far as mental health goes, you know it's okay to break up with that. It's okay to break up with societal expectations, and it's okay to be content with how you look. Even so, I know that can be hard for a lot of people to swallow. It's also okay to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, and a lot has changed, you know?
01:50:10:21 - 01:50:32:08
Loren
But it's also okay to be simultaneously in awe of what your body did and what it is doing. There's a lot of juxtaposed emotions in the postpartum period happiness and sadness, discomfort, amazement, you know, like talk to your friends and family that have been through it. one of the things that I did is I invested in some clothes that actually fit me.
01:50:32:08 - 01:50:55:23
Loren
So I went to target and I bought just a little capsule wardrobe of clothes that I could wear so that I felt comfortable. I felt like I, you know, feeling put together helped me mentally. But in clothes that actually fit me. And that really helped a lot. And make time for yourself, but not so that you can get your pre-baby body back, but because you are a woman.
01:50:55:23 - 01:51:22:20
Loren
Change changed. So I know that's a lot to process and it's way easier said than done, but it's something that you may find that you constantly fluctuate between as well. And that is completely normal and you are not alone. I also think that for mental health reasons too, you like. And again, I'm not a mental health expert, so please seek professional guidance if you are truly needing support and if you need a referral.
01:51:22:20 - 01:51:44:00
Loren
I am happy to refer you to one of the very many holistic practitioners that, do specialize in mental health, but I think you should have the expectations. To have no expectations, your baby may need to be held all the time. Your baby may not want to be worn. My baby certainly didn't. I thought that that was going to.
01:51:44:02 - 01:52:06:12
Loren
I thought that, you know, our baby would love to be worn. He hates being worn. your baby may not sleep through the night. You may not have time to exercise. You may not be getting back to the things that you wanted to do as quickly as you wanted to do them. It's okay. Like I mentioned, preparation is key and can help you navigate and find new solutions for things and coping.
01:52:06:14 - 01:52:26:20
Loren
but you also have to surrender and let go and go with the flow. So as far as mental health goes, I touched on a couple things that I personally like found very helpful for me in terms of postpartum, but also talk to your community and see what they would say as well. But hopefully this was helpful for you.
01:52:26:22 - 01:52:45:18
Loren
did you use any progesterone postpartum to help with it at all? I personally did not feel the need to use progesterone. I have coached my clients through using it though. Postpartum for support, and it's something that you can use. But every woman's body responds differently, so you have to know what to look out for. So I wouldn't say like, yeah, go use it.
01:52:45:22 - 01:53:12:08
Loren
I think it needs to be done with supervision, especially postpartum, especially if you're nursing, because depending on how your birth was, depending on how your hormones, your detoxification, everything, it can not be great. It can be great. You know, it really again, depends. And you have to know what to look out for. you look glowing. Would love to know how you kept that glow and how to prepare your whole family slash connections to give you what you need without feeling overwhelmed.
01:53:12:10 - 01:53:35:01
Loren
I would also love to know only if you want to share it how you prepared emotionally, mentally. As you mentioned, relational relational traumas in the last podcast, how they took up space more for preconception, but would love to know how you moved past them and any techniques lessons that you have helped you with it. So the glow of the glow is, good food and limiting stress as much as possible.
01:53:35:05 - 01:54:11:14
Loren
I am not sleeping well. Still, my baby does not sleep through the night. He wakes up multiple times a night. So, you know, I think I'm doing what I can to support myself in any and every other way without, overloading or stressing myself out either. I'm not maniacally trying to hit every other area. I'm just kind of going with the flow, surrendering as well, and doing the things that I know how to support myself with the time that I'm given regarding preparing family, I think, you know, just I've heard crazy stories of like women preparing PowerPoints and like, if you want to do that and go that far to enable your family and what
01:54:11:14 - 01:54:34:24
Loren
you expect, that's fine. But I think a conversation about expectations kind of discuss it with your partner and, and see what you're comfortable with and, you know, get ready to these are my boundaries. And I really want you to respect them and and be prepared to possibly again, I think the older generation may have I think they feel more entitled to certain things, so they may have more negative reactions.
01:54:34:24 - 01:55:01:16
Loren
But if they're really going to care for you, if they're truly care for you, they will respect those. And you know, if they don't, then you have to be ready to with uphold them. Excuse me. So, just be ready to do that. And I think regarding relational traumas, it's not like they're completely gone. But when I focus on and continue to focus on because it's always a work in progress, are the things that I'm in control of and how I respond to them.
01:55:01:18 - 01:55:22:21
Loren
And respond is a key word too. But I think even once you think your work is done, you may find that you're triggered by a different or new aspect of that trauma, and that's okay. It is part of the healing process. And instead of reacting, I step back and try to connect the dots for myself to understand why I was triggered.
01:55:22:23 - 01:55:44:08
Loren
And through that, you also have a new understanding and a new way to cope that will support you in the future, so that each time the trauma does come up, it has less and less power over you. You become less and less and less triggered. And I think that again, trauma is not like one and done kind of thing.
01:55:44:10 - 01:56:05:20
Loren
It definitely it can really wreck your nervous system and be a blocker to getting pregnant, especially in the way that it influences your nervous system. And if it is causing like a hyper reaction for sure. We store our traumas in our bodies as well, and they need to be worked through a lot of the time. But it's not going to protect you from future comments.
01:56:05:20 - 01:56:33:17
Loren
I mean, you may be emotionally regulated to have sort of like a less of an a tough future. Traumas have less of an effect on you. Just like you can't remove all stress from your life, you cannot predict the traumas that you're going to have in the future. But by being a more regulated person, you can really protect yourself from the level of death that they have over you and the control that they have over you.
01:56:33:19 - 01:56:57:18
Loren
And so I guess long story short, it continues to be a work in progress. But I think that, you know, it's just part of the journey. Just like health, fertility is a journey. It's not a destination. So just keep that in mind. But I think that's a great question. I hope that was helpful to you. has going through it made you sympathize with other clients more?
01:56:57:18 - 01:57:26:13
Loren
So I think my clients would say that they have never worked with anyone that cares more than I do, and I've gotten feedback from my clients. That's like the endless continuous feedback that I get. I care so much and I want my clients to succeed so much. I will literally do anything for my clients. And so that said, of course, firsthand experience is incredibly invaluable.
01:57:26:13 - 01:57:49:02
Loren
And I'm bringing that, you know, to my clients, of course, of course. And my learnings and my, you know, in real time support to them. So I will continue to do that as as this journey continues. Do you have any routines to try and get your baby to sleep better? So no, we don't really do any type of sleep training.
01:57:49:04 - 01:58:10:06
Loren
but we are incredibly educated on infant sleep and we make sure that he is well fed. Of course we have a bedtime routine. We listen to his cues and help him settle when he needs us at night. He's not sleeping through the night. He's never been a great sleeper, quote unquote. You know, we are going with the flow with him and what he needs.
01:58:10:08 - 01:58:31:19
Loren
I think it is a big fat lie that your baby should sleep through the night, especially if your baby's nursing and breastfed. But I'm not going to get into that. There's a lot of different, approaches. You also need to evaluate what you need for your mental health, what you need for your family. So my way is not the best way.
01:58:31:23 - 01:58:57:06
Loren
My way is how we're doing it right now. Things are constantly changing. We're constantly tweaking things. We're learning new things. He's changing. So, like, you know, it's never, settled. I think that the constant is the inconsistency. So you have to evaluate what is right for your family. I do love the book thief infant sleep. And that's a really great book.
01:58:57:06 - 01:59:30:16
Loren
But you have to evaluate what you feel most comfortable with, what you're able to provide to your baby. Like there may not be enough room in your bed, or it's a completely personal decision. And so I respect anyone going through this phase and trying to figure it out. And, yeah, the short answer we're, not doing any sleep training, but we do do a lot of things to help promote good sleep and help promote restfulness so that we can sleep.
01:59:30:16 - 01:59:54:23
Loren
So I hope that helps answer your question. how did you navigate breastfeeding to make sure it was successful? So I made sure I eat foods to support my recovery, but also to support nutritious breast milk production and lactation. So both from the quality of the breast milk to the breast milk quantity, production, eating a lot of nutritious foods and specific foods to support that.
01:59:55:00 - 02:00:15:22
Loren
I've also been gently exercising, mostly walking, to make sure my body doesn't experience additional stress. considering how sleep has been going, which is another key support, at least for me, it's really important for me. So, I've been kind of like tweaking little things here and there and optimizing things that I can to support and reduce stress.
02:00:15:24 - 02:00:37:08
Loren
I was not pumping in the first few months, but after baby's tongue tie became problematic, I transitioned to hybrid nursing and pumping and bottle feeding, which is not for the faint of heart. I am working on trying to get back to just nursing. Since his revision and since his therapy has gone so well, it's just going to be a matter of seeing if he can efficiently empty my breast or not.
02:00:37:10 - 02:01:02:24
Loren
And so that kind of is a determining factor, because if that doesn't happen, there may be you know, you also have to monitor him for, proper weight gain. Is he eating enough even though he's not emptying enough? but also, like supply is determined by demand. So, you know, if you go too long without taking care of that, your supply can kind of start dwindling.
02:01:03:01 - 02:01:22:04
Loren
And so it's it's a balancing act. It's very it's not for the faint of heart. it it has ended up being a little more complicated than I expected, or wanted it to be, I should say. But I'm also going with the flow. And what's working right now may not work in the future. So just giving myself grace with that.
02:01:22:04 - 02:01:41:16
Loren
And I think that is a key lesson for postpartum, too, is just giving yourself grace. Things that you're doing every day to support yourself and physically. So I get some light in the morning. I try to support my circadian rhythm. I go for walks and get gentle exercise to support my lymphatic drainage, but also get some movement.
02:01:41:16 - 02:02:01:07
Loren
It's really good for my mental health as well. I usually take baby with me unless it's too hot. Sometimes it is too hot and it's been kind of. There have been a couple days where it's been just like way too hot here in Colorado. I also, take naps wherever I can really try to catch up on sleep.
02:02:01:07 - 02:02:34:07
Loren
I take my supplements. I'm really consistent about taking targeted, supplements, but also intentional supplements and being really, really consistent with that. Of course, my nutrition super important. I don't skip meals. I keep snacks everywhere. I really try to support myself nutritionally because I know how important it is for my recovery, but also my reducing the stress on my body and making sure baby is getting nutritious breast milk supporting breast milk production.
02:02:34:09 - 02:03:14:19
Loren
So all of that, I also properly engage my pelvic floor throughout the day when I'm doing various activities, which, you know, also includes taking various moments to observe my breathing. A lot of women postpartum have very shallow breathing. And so I'm also engaging my pelvic floor, but making sure that I'm also breathing properly throughout the day, especially if I find myself just like shallowly breathing, which might also be like it might be second nature, because if you also have a really big belly and your your diaphragm was kind of compressed during pregnancy, it's kind of like carry over into postpartum even though your belly is not being compressed anymore.
02:03:14:19 - 02:03:51:10
Loren
So just trying to take note of these things and doing, even if I can't dedicate like a workout, you know, I am incorporating exercises, pelvic floor function, proper pelvic floor engagement. into my daily routine. And then I'm also, you know, taking a shower while my husband is on duty watching baby. And I'll do little things for myself, like wash our dermaplaning my face or tweezing my eyebrows or trimming my nails just to, you know, like, do a little something for myself, which is really helped.
02:03:51:12 - 02:04:16:11
Loren
And then, yeah, that's kind of going with the flow there. And I'll take larger breaks and go to an appointment here and there. If my husband has time or we do have an amazing, amazing nanny and we feel so lucky to have found her, she comes just for a couple hours a week. But, you know, I think, that allows my husband and I to also get time together alone.
02:04:16:13 - 02:04:38:02
Loren
So we'll try to go for dates as well, which is really, really good for us. And my mental health. Yeah, I mean, if you can find reliable help, which is really difficult, trustworthy help, even if it's not for every day, but just, you know, the occasional date night that can make a huge difference. So we definitely have been using that too.
02:04:38:04 - 02:04:59:08
Loren
What were your postpartum must haves? Products, appliances? Foods? Teas? All of it. I think to make this easy, I'll create an article link and include a link to that list in the episode notes. And you know, you can use that and check that out. And with that, I think my brain is tired after all. I'm talking with my husband and now.
02:04:59:10 - 02:05:22:03
Loren
So I'm going to go back to baby E, and I hope you've been enjoying this episode. I hope it was helpful. I hope it provides some different perspective, maybe from what you've heard from other podcasts or other people, things like that in your life. I hope that it gives you, you know, new avenues to explore and definitely don't feel like you can't reach out.
02:05:22:03 - 02:05:41:11
Loren
Definitely don't hesitate to reach out. if you have any follow up questions or want to chat more about my postpartum experience, and if there's, you know, any requests for another Q&A? If you like this kind of like Q&A style part of the episode, happy to do more of them. Just let me know, okay. All right. Well, thanks for listening.
02:05:41:11 - 02:06:09:06
Loren
I hope you enjoyed this episode about my birth and early postpartum. And yeah, that wraps up season three. I can't believe it. So definitely if you have not listened to season 1 or 2, definitely check them out. But if you also have any requests for season four, please send them to me. And I'm super excited to get started on that season to you and bring you more helpful information about fertility.
02:06:09:06 - 02:06:25:21
Loren
But also just health, wellness and yeah, living a better life and creating a better version of yourself. So that's all for now. I hope to see you soon. Take care.
02:06:25:23 - 02:06:44:23
Loren
Thank you so much for listening to the Innate Wisdom Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a review and share the podcast with someone who you think might benefit. If you're new here, we can't recommend enough that you take advantage of my free resources like the Get Pregnant Yesterday checklist. It's like a literacy guide, prenatal primer, and sperm booster manual.
02:06:45:00 - 02:07:09:16
Loren
And if you're trying to conceive now or in the near future, I invite you to join my pregnancy prep e-course, Conscious Inspection. Make sure to follow me on Instagram two at any underscore fertility, and consider joining my newsletter to receive exclusive content related to fertility and so much more. A friendly reminder the content shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only, and should not be a substitute for the advice provided by your doctor or other health care professional.
02:07:09:18 - 02:07:13:05
Loren
It is not intended to be, nor does it constitute health care or medical advice.
